Sexless

Three months and counting. It could be four. I can't even remember the last time I had sex. I am unlikely to have sex again for another six or seven months. Yes, it is bothering me. I have a pretty damn strong sex drive. The wife is pregnant and is concerned that having sex could cause a problem in light of all the past bleeding problems that she had earlier in the pregnancy.

She asked me if I was thinking of cheating on her. I told her no- besides who would be the other willing party?

Went to her good friend's birthday party tonight at a crowded and loud restaurant. Last year we went to the same birthday party at the same restaurant. I was not wearing a wedding ring at that time. I have been told that a girl at the party last year was asking about me. As in "what is his story? Who is he?" So I guess I can take that as maybe she found me attractive. The wife was the one who relayed this story to me. The girl who was asking about me last year was there again tonight.

She is cute. Has a nice body. Blonde and sexy. If I were going to cheat on my wife I would like to have sex with that girl- assuming that she would want anything to do with me. Which of course she wouldn't because I am married. Even if she were willing, I would not have the balls to have sex with her. I am doomed to a sexless, sexually frustrated sex life. Well, I guess after the twins are born I will have sex again- but that isn't until late May. It just feels like forever.

The sex life isn't the most exciting with the wife. It never really has been. We never really had that wild sex thing. So I feel that I am missing out on a certain part of my life. But my family is more important so I sacrifice the fulfillment of those desires.

I hate our fucking cats. Two of them. Annoying as hell. It is 2:00 am right now- can't sleep and those fucking cats are scratching on the door of the garage wanting out.

The wife gave away the dog yesterday. The dog never stayed at our house anyway. He stayed with the neighbor three houses down. The dog was so fucking annoying. He constantly begged for attention and incessantly whined. The neighbor loves the dog and was willing to take over complete ownership. The neighbor had already taken over full responsibility for feeding and she was glad to become the new owner.

Our pets are so damn annoying. Maybe a trip to the pound is in order for the cats. Well the daughter loves the cats so i guess i won't do that. But one of the cats is sixty-nine times more annoying than the other so maybe she can go to another good home that can put up with her annoyances.

I ramble at 2:00 in the morning.

I need sex at 2:00 in the morning.

I need sex at 1:00 in the afternoon.

Come to think of it, I need sex at any time during the day or night.

I used to have a great sex life before I met the wife. I shouldn't think back to that time- it tends to depress me somewhat.

The reader (as if anyone will ever read this besides myself) might think that I do not love my wife. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I love her more deeply than i have ever loved anyone in my life. We are a very good match. We come from similar backgrounds, have similar views on most topics, have similar morals and life goals. Passion and sex are what is missing for me. I love my family and don't want my current situation with my family to change. I just have a desire to fill the one hole in my life. But I probably will not be able to fill that hole without destroying my family. I will not jeapordize my family in order to make my life complete.

I guess it just goes to prove that you can't have everything you want in life.