Dry Spell

I don't rember the last time I had sex.

Stupid Fucking Cat

Indoor cat pissed on my coat and clothes,sharpens its claws on the furniture, and pukes all over the house.  I guess this doesn't bother the wife but the kitty is coming close to the gas chamber.

Broken Arm

I was with the three hellions at Grandm and Pop Pop's house last night hanging with my brother and his family who was visiting from out of town.  I was in the kitchen cleaning up after a nice dinner of orange roughy, fresh baked bread, salad, baked potato, fresh tomatoes, etc.  My sister-in-law came to me to tell me that Lolo needed me.

I went to the back porch where she was and she was sitting up cradling her right arm which was obviously deformed with a break.  She was in tears.

So we ended up in the emergency room untill 11:00 pm where they put a splint on too tightly.  It swelled at night and caused a good amout of pain.  She got a real cast put on today- they did not set her right arm- the break was not nearly as bad as the one on her left arm last year. She was such a brave girl.

Transubstantiation is such a fucking idiotic belief that it makes me want to vomit.

Another trip....another ..... ummmmm. Whatever

So I arrrived at the Holiday Inn Express in Wadsworth Ohio tonight.  It has been a tripping busy day.  I was in the car for a total of probably 1.5 hrs between home and the airports and I probably was on the phone for 1.3 hours of that time making no less than fifteen different calls.

The hotel has a "happy hour" where they have free beer!  Yay!  In my college days "free beer" was one notch below getting laid which was one notch below going to heaven.  Getting laid is still one notch below going to heave because in the wife's point of view it is one notch below taking out the trash after cleaning out the cat litter.

Anyway, I digress..   I drank a no-name Magic Hat beer that is very tasty and yeasty.  I give it a solid seven on a scale of one to 10... or a solid 6.5 on a scale of 1 to 6.9.  I can tell I am typing when I am intoxicated because I would never type such a sentence as before I were not such at the age of 41.  If I were at the age of 25, I would start out the post with that statement.

So what was I saying about the beers I was drinking?  Oh yes.

I am drinking a Redbridge right now.  It is a product from Anheuser Busch that is brewed from Sorghum without using any wheat or barley.  It is a 4.2 on my scale of 6.9.  However, if I had Celiac (spelled Coeliac in the rest of the world) Disease, it would be a 7.69 on the scale.  Applause goes to Anheuser Busch for brewing this beer for a small subset of the population.  Wikipedia says that about 1% of the adult population has the disease which makes the carrier ill from consuming wheat and barley.  I am not sure where Anheuser Busch is coming from on this one.  Normally they would be motivated solely by profit and shareholder satisfaction.  But one has to wonder about this one.  Is this just an experiment?  Does AB know something that the rest of us don't about Celiac Disease?  Is AB causing AB disease?  Maybe they are genetically modifying all the eggs in women throughout the USA through the ingredients of Bud Light to cause the women's eggs to fertilize into an embryo that carries the gene for Celiac disease.

So that must be it. Since their normal brands suck and they see that they are losing market share because they produce what is in effect water with alcohol (Budweiser, Bud Light and most all other AB products) they have devised an evil plan to produce the only beer for those who cannot consume wheat based products.  Then they have evolved a strategy to make everyone born in the USA allergic to all the other beers in the marketplace.  How brilliant yet how evil.   It must be a conspiracy!  Boycott AB!!!!

Well despite the evilness of the non-regulated brewing industry (yuk, yuk!)  I am still going to buy beers that are not like sex in a canoe.  You know the joke.  American mass brewed beers are like sex in a canoe... fucking close to water.

I need another beer.

A New Hero

Check out Pat Condell on YouTube and on his web site.  This guy is funny.  Some people might find his views extreme but I think there is a lot of truth in his rants.

Now for a great joke:

Why don't catholics use condoms?
Because little boys can't get pregnant.

Love it!!!

Preschool Pedal Power

Lolo has been riding her bicycle with training wheels long enough to outgrow the helmet we have for her.  So today we went to Toys-R-Us and bought a new helmet for her.  It has pink hearts and peace signs on it.

When we got home Lolo asked me to take the training wheels off her bicycle.  We had tried this before and she was very unsteady and screamed if I let go of her seat as I ran along beside her.  She gave up on it about two to three months ago and asked me to put her training wheels back on which I did because I am a good daddy and I always do as I am told.

Today was the turning point for her.  We started mid way on the tennis court heading east and I held her seat just as before and I guess I was not expecting anything different.  As we started I felt that she was not leaning to one side or the other like she did before so I just let go and she kept on going on her own until she ran out of tennis court.

I ran to meet her with praises and we tried it again and she rode the length of the tennis court this time without me holding on to the seat.  She was in a sheer skirt so she wanted to go inside to change into pants.  I told her to wear jeans.  She was so excited that she ran to tell her mother.

I waited and waited for her to come back. It seems she got distracted because she finally came out with jeans on eating a popsicle.  So we waited until she finished the popsicle and she got back on the bike and rode up and down the tennis court with me helping her start each time.  She was a little hard on the breaks but I coached her how to apply them lightly and she picked it up immediately.

I then suggested that we go to the neighborhood road our house is on.  There are only three houses on our little tree shaded street so I convinced her that it was safe.  I got my bike and helped her roll her bike down our 30% grade driveway.  At the bottom of our driveway I got her on the bike and started her off.  She rode all the way down the hill to the field and put her brakes on at the end and stopped without falling over.  She rode at least 369 feet (as measuring using our county's GIS system) without any assistance from me.  We rode back and forth that same stretch. I suggested that we go further but she didn't want to.  She seemed pleased with the single route we were riding.

After about ten minutes we headed back up to the tennis court and she rode around in circles on the court for about 30 minutes showing off for me and her grandparents that had just showed up bearing banana pudding.  She still was having difficulty starting off on her own.  She was getting better at it but still not completely sure of herself.  That will come in due time.

So her soon-to-be four year old brother saw what was happening and heard all the accolades his sister was getting.  So he asked me to remove his training wheels and so I did.  I held on to his seat and pushed him along and he was a little more wobbly than is sister but seemed pretty steady.  So I turned him around and pushed him again.  This time I removed my hand from his seat and he kept going!!!!!  I had to grab him to keep him from falling after about three seconds but he had the balance.  then I started pushing him around the court with just my hand on his back pushing him but not keeping him balance.  I'll be damned he pretty much got it too!

So what a damn great day!  Two kids learned how to ride their bikes without training wheels.

Well the day started off pretty shitty.  The wife and I were downstairs around breakfast and they were getting prepared to go to church which was the topic of conversation.  Lolo asked me "Daddy why don't you go to church?" and I replied "Because I don't like church."

The wife almost had a stroke.  She was so fucking pissed off at me that I would tell the kids that because as she put it "it was a slap in my face."  I didn't even think about it when I answered the question.  I just told the truth.  Church is not my thing.  I was forced to go to church when I was growing up.  I didn't have a choice then but I have one now.  I disagree on children attending church because they are children and have limited ability to understand.  Church teaches only one religion and teaches it as the one and only truth.  Children do not have a chance to form an opinion based upon their own thought.

I believe that one should not subject children to such things that they cannot possibly understand.  People should not be brainwashed in one direction simply because they had the misfortune of being born in one geographical location or withing a society that practices one particular religion.  Humans should be given the chance to consider religion rationally when they have the ability to understand the constructs associated with religion.  Humans should not learn of only one religion but of all religions and of science and then make their own choices when they have the maturtity to do so.

It just so happens that I am in a marrige where my wife wants our children raised "in church" as she was.  My kids go to a Christian school and are subjected to enough brainwashing there.  I originglly inteded on our children to be educated at the Montessori School but the wife did not like the size and the lack of organization and structure of the Montessiori School so we compromised on the Christian Day School (which is actually where I attended elementary school).  I don't take issue with the wife taking the children to church (usually two to three times per month) but I am confused as to how she wants me to handle questions which will arise about my belief.

I will not lie to my children because I think they should know that not everyone is brainwashed.  Of course where I live everyone else will think that I am pretty much a bad person because I don't have blind faith in the god of their choosing.

I have had enough of typing about this shit.  I will have to deal with it later.

This is beer?

I am drinking a Michelob Ultra and really can't believe this shit is considered a beer.  It is a lot like the rest of the standard American beers which are the equivalent of sex in a canoe- fucking close to water.  I can't even imagine trying the ultralite MGD 64 and Budweiser Select 55.  I guess if you really want to get drunk while drinking water, these beers will perfectly fit the bill.

Still hungry

Yesterday the wife was driving the kids home from school and Atticus said in all seriousness, "Mommy, I'm all out of boogers."  I guess he just had to go hungry.

The Menace of Pine Nuts

I was on vacation with the family last week and one of the wife's friends met us at the beach with her two girls.  Last Friday night, the wife's friend made a great little appetizer by spreading cream cheese and topping it with pesto, dried cranberries and pine nuts.  It was a very tasty appetizer and I ate a shitload of it.  Later that night I got hungry and had a few handfulls of pine nuts to calm my growing stomach.

All was well until this past Sunday night when I began to notice that no matter what I ate, it left a bitter taste in my mouth.  I first noticed it after I ate green grapes so I thought there was something wrong with the grapes.  On Monday I noticed that everything I ate left that foul bitter taste in my mouth- I mean everything including water!  The bitter taste would go away after about 10 minutes but only to return the next time I ate something.

So I did some research on the net and found bitter taste in the mouth can be attributed to tooth decay, sinus infections, acid reflux, brain tumors, and rectal lice.  I really didn't think I had any of these.  Then I ran across a forum where hundreds of people had posted about the same symptoms of the bitter taste from anything they ate that later went away.  It seems that pine nuts are the culprit.  It is being debated wheter the origin of the pine nuts might have something to do with it.

I have eaten pine nuts a lot in my lifetime but this is the first time that I ever experienced this.  I think I will try Pine nuts again but only if they are from Italy and not China, Korea or Vietnam.

A Week Off

So I am out of the office on a "vacation" with the family this week.  For some reason the wife is feeling a little sick or down.  I hung out with the kids all afternoon by myself.  Of coures the wife spent all last week alone with the kids when I was in Honduras and she drove down to the beach with them without me and was here for two days with them without me.  So she deserves a break.

I really wish that my libido would go away.  I see all these twenty-something girls on the beach with their nice bodies and wish I wasn't attracted.  Not that I would ever do anything about it but it just a mental tease just looking.  Oh well, at least I get to look.

I am trying to just relax and forget about work for a while but I just can't forget about all the shit I need to do.  Alcohol helps.

The things kids say

Adrienne has often performed this one for me.  If I am home at nights (off the road from travels) I am usually the one who gives the kids a bath.  Adrienne loves to grab a cup and try to piss in the cup before she gets in the bath.  Needless to say she doesn't have any sort of semblance of aim so she pisses all over the floor and maybe gets a little bit in the cup.  At least she is close to the bath and I can throw her in there but it isn't fun mopping up all the piss on the bathroom floor.

Yesterday when the wife was putting Adrienne in her car seat getting ready to head out for school she looked at the wife and said "Mommy, your vagina is stinky."

Learning to read

Lolo is really reading very well.  She now has books that she reads to me.  Like One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish- she can't read the whole book but she can read a good amount of it.

I sat down with Atticus tonight and read Clip Clop to him.  He was picking out letters and pointing to them and saying them.  He is recognizing a lot of the alphabet such as A, I, W, M, P, S and T.  He probably knows others but that is all we got to tonight. He shows interest in learning the alphabet.

His twin sister on the other hand really shows almost no interest.  She marches to the beat of her own drum for damn sure.  She likes the wife's chicken and dumplings that she makes.   When she asks for the wifes chicken and dumplings she calls it chickling and dumplings.  She still calls a bathing suit a babe in soup and she loves to call me and other people "Stiky Pants"

A day

So the wife took Adrienne to church today. I got to stay at home with Lolo and Atticus and I am very happy I didn't get pressure to go to church. They stayed gone for a long time. I put Atticus down for a nap around 1:00 pm and Lolo and I cleaned house, cleaned the fish tank, straightened up the sofa pillows, moved a small desk to Lolo's room, moved a chair and ottoman from the man-cave to the living room, folded blankets and more. Lolo was very helpful. I also put weather stripping on the crawlspace door and the front door.

I took Atticus and Lolo to Home Depot with me to get insulation to block some of the big holes from the crawlspace into the heated basement. When I was there our friends - call them Bill and Fluffy- called and asked if we wanted to come over for home cooked pizzas. The wife was already in her PJs ready for bed at 6:00- she was tired from all that Churchin'. So I took Atticus and Lolo with their pajamas over to Bill and Fluffy's house. They g0t to play with their kids and I got to drink wine and socialize which I don't so do much - socialize that is.

The kids had a great time and actually took baths and put their pajamas on. We ate well and drank well and had a great time. I got home with the kids at about 8:30 and got the kids teeth brushed after they woke up the wife and bothered her for a while. I had to read Lolo a book called "Barnyard Dance" by Sandra Boynton, which she mostly read herself- not too bad for a 6 year old.

Then Atticus refused me to carry him to his bed as normal. I tried to pick him up but he screamed at the top of his lungs that he wanted his mommy to carry him to bed. I ended up reading "Clip Clop" by Nicohola Smee to him. I was amazed that a the end he pointed to each letter in the text Clippity Cloppity and called them out by name. He can spell him name when you ask him how to spell it. I think this is not too bad for a three year old, but I am a little biased.

Yesterday I took the twins out to Home Depot to get some weather stripping and then took them by the parent's place. My dad was in the hospital for his second carotid artery surgery and just got the word that he could go home yesterday evening. He was doing much better at this point after his surgery then he did after his first surgery. Last time after getting out of the hospital on his 13th day of the stay, he got an infection and did not feel good again for over one month until he went back into the hospital for his infection. The incision in his neck became infected. He was readmitted to the hospital. After a few hours of getting a room in the hospital he was coughing hard and his incision opened up and all results of the infection drained out- he said ti was over two cups worth.

So hopefully he will pass through this rehabilitation phasee quickly and withoug incident.



So this time he is doing much better and should not get the infection he had last time.

Can't Sleep

Went to bed at 11:30 and woke up at 3:30 not able to sleep becuase my sinuses hurt like shit and they keep draining back in my throat. I don't know if it is because the fucking cats are in the house now. They used to be outside cats but it has been very cold here (lows of 18F) so we feel sorry for the cats and let them in the house.

Now the wife lets them have free range of the house when they used to stay quarantined to one room. Maybe I am allergic to those fucking furballs.

I have been laid out on the sofa in the man-cave watching Palladia which has been playing a lot of Sugarland videos. Jennifer Nettles is so hot.

So it is 6:00 AM now and sork today is going to be a lot of fun. I seriously need to get motivated at work and lack of sleep ain't gonna help any.

Lolo lost another tooth standing in line at some christian book store about a week ago (the wife buying presents). Apparently other people in line offered her money if she pulled her very loose tooth out. So she yanked it out and after cleaning up the blood she cleaned up by collecting $25 from people in line. That's my girl.