12/31/2007

Party Till I Bleed

After the insane xmas festivities I tried to get some work done during the day only to be called home to the wife who could not move. She was standing by Atticus' bed with tears in her eyes. She had excruciating pain shooting through her back and could not move. Apparently she had bent over to retrieve our 18 month old son's bottle from his crib (he can't go to sleep in his crib without a bottle). We took her to the emergency room and the doctor quickly diagnosed the problem as muscular not a slipped or herniated disc.

The doctor gave the wife some oxycodone and a prescrip for the same and a prescrip for muscle relaxers. We came home and the wife just had to take it easy so I did a lot of taking care of the kids and my parents and her parents helped out as well.

The wife went to her family doctor today and got his opinion- no reason for an MRI- the problem is most likely muscular and if she did have an MRI and they found something they would not do anyting anyway.

Thanks to the wife's still healing back our night consisted of putting the twins to bed (Lolo is at the in-laws) getting take out Mexican food and watching some TV. The wife has gone to bed and I will stay up to watch the arrival of the new year. We had planned to go out and ring in the new year with several other married couples but that will have to wait until next year.

12/26/2007

One Messed Up Xmas Eve- Thanks Ina Garten

So the night before last we took the family to my parent's house for food and the opening presents tradition. The wife had been watching Barefoot Contessa on Food TV and saw a recipe for Pomegranate Cosmopolitains and decided to mix up a batch for the holidays.

The recipe only called for 4 cups of vodka, 1 cup of Cointreau, one cup of pomegranate juice and some lime juice. Drinking one of these is pretty much like shooting an entire glass of vodka. So when we arrived at the parental units house and served the cosmopolitains everyone of legal drinking age sipped on them slowly except for my 77 year old father who rarely drinks more than one beer in a month. He slurped down two pretty quickly and became very jolly and loud.

We were running out of pomegranate cosmos so since I had not consumed any I drove back to my house to gather more of the ingredients to make the rocket fuel. When I got back it was time to eat.

During the sloth-fest of dead cow flesh the patriarch downed another cosmom. So my brother and I had to help the old man get up from his chair and walk the fifteen feet to his recliner. Where he asked for another drink and was granted his wish.

We then preceeded to open presents with a 4 year old, 2 year old, two 19 month olds and an 8 month old screaming and ripping paper to shreds. It was an orgy of gift receiving activity. The discarded shreds of paper were thrown into the fireplace. By this time the old man was asleep in the chair (which is pretty normal for him) and completely oblivious to the ear splitting screams and cries.

After about 30 minutes of this the wife had to go to the truck to get a sucker for a screaming child claiming unfairness in receiving. A car pulls up screeching its tires a man hops our and screams that the chimney is on fire. The wife runs in and repeats the exciting news to me. I scramble to grab a ladder and a hose to check out the fire. Fortuntatly it was a very minor fire and it had completely extinguished itself by the time I got to the chimney.

So back in the house we all went well for about 3 minutes when the old man stood up and immediately collapsed hitting the corner of the brick hearth. I immediately shook him yelling "DAD". He was non responsive so with the knowledge of his past cardiac health I immediately thought he had a heart attack. fortunately my brother kept a cool head (EMT trained) and checked his breathing an pulse. Mother had already called 911. My brother quickly ascertained that he was berating and had a strong pulse and it became obviouis just how trashed the old man was. He simply blacked out when he stood up because he was wasted. He passed out!

After the EMT crew arrived and did their job they helped us get the drunken old man up to his bed. Fortunately he was able to communicate and help walk some.

In short, it was a lot of fun with the family and the drink but it scared the shit out of me. I thought I had lost my father.

12/04/2007

Spawn of Satan or Docile Toddler?



Destruction, havoc and chaos come in such small packages.

Over the past two days Atticus has broken the wife's favorite Christopher Radko christmas ornament, one of Lolo's ornaments (a pink ball with white fuzz), he did a repeat of the cell phone dunking incident with the cordless phone in the toilet. The he proceeded to stuff his mouth so full of goldfish that he couldn't breathe and choked immediately followed by voluminous vomiting on the carpet. He has unscrewed the filter from my camera lens and put it somewhere.

Superwife is really disappointed because she is not going to be able to have the kind of Christmas she wants because of him. We can't put any ornaments on the tree or any decorations within his reach. He has learned how to scoot the stool up to the counter tops anywhere in the kitchen and have his way with anything on the counter like meat cleavers, glass shards, chainsaws, etc.

His favorite past time is to play in the sink. Today he figured out that he can actually get in the sink and turn on the water.

His damn pacifier cord stinks so damn bad because of it is constantly soaked with drool and saliva and it mildews and molds and makes me want to puke.

12/02/2007

Spirituality Found

I have finally found my spiritual calling. I no longer have to fear death.

11/17/2007

Kid Update

The wife is out for a well deserved weekend away and I have Adrienne and Atticus. Lolo is with the in-laws.

The schedule of the twins: 7:00 wake up, dress, breakfast. On Mondays and Wednesdays the twins go to their school from 9:00 to 11:30. Lolo goes five days per week. She is there from 8:30 to 3:00 on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays. She stays until noon on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Lolo has dance on Wednesday afternoons. The twins have swim lessons on Mondays and Wednesdays. As does Lolo.

Twins get one nap in the afternoon usually from 12:30 to 4:30. Dinner is usually at 5:30 followed by a bath and bed at 7:00. Lolo gets to bed at 8:00.

Needless to say it is buys and completely wild.

Milestones: on September 21, 2007 Lolo has been sleeping without a pullup and has not urinated in the bed for about two weeks.
On August 22, 2007 Adrienne can say "Daddy" (as she has been doing for a long time), "mama", "outside", "ball", "Akeys" (for Atticus), "Fla" (for flower), "apple" (for any fruit). She can also blow her nose when you put a tissue to her nose.

On October 10, Adrienne can say and point to "eyes", "nose", and "teeth". She has been doing this for about a week and we think Mimi taught her.

Comic moment: March 15, 2007
Lolo: "Daddy, why did you take your shoes off?"
Me: "So I could get comfortable."
Lolo looking at her bare feet: "I took my shoes off so I can pick toe jam."

I am not getting any exercise and am trying to not eat as much meat in an attempt to lower my cholesterol level. The last blood test I had done for a life insurance policy indicated that my total level was 190 up from a year earlier at 180.

8/06/2007

About time for a "Family" Day

I took the day off work and took the boat and the whole fam damily to the lake. My boat is finally running. The last time we tried this about three weeks ago we ended up floating close to the put-in with no running engine. This time the boat worked flawlessly. It helps to run the boat at lest once every two years.

Atticus and Adrienne and especially Lolo loved the water. We went to Lake James where the water is clear and cool and the scenery is amazing. All three of the hellions took a nap as we drove around. The drone of the motor put them right to sleep. Atticus fought it but he finally snoozed. We found a cove that was completely undeveloped and anchored and swam for at least an hour and a half.

Poor Lolo got very chaffed where the strap from her lifejacked went between her legs. You would think that someone would design those straps better so that wouldn't happen.

A fun time was had by all and we need to do it again very soon.

8/04/2007

Youngerns Update

Our routine:

Lolo normally wakes at 5:30 to 6:30 and the twins normally wake up at 6:30.
The wife gets up with them feeds them breakfast and lets me sleep.
I take Lolo to church camp at 9:00.
The wife takes twins walking and they usually take a nap.
The wife feeds twins lunch.
I pick up Lolo at church camp at 1:00 and bring her home.
1:30 all children take a nap
4:00 to 5:00 children wake up from nap
5:30 to 6:00 the wife prepares dinner for children and husband
6:00 to 7:00 husband arrives
6:45 bath time for twins
7:00 sleep time for twins
8:15 to 8:30 Lolo bath, brush teeth, dry hair, pee pee, put on pull-up, put on pajamas, Dad reads book (right now A to Z is her favorite)
8:31 Mommy sings a song (usually Jesus Loves Me i think (much to my dismay))
8:32 Lolo asks mommy "I'm going to sneeze a yittle but and cough a yittle bit. Will that wake up Adrienned and Attikissy?"

8/03/2007

Christianity Explained

I can't claim this as my own... I gleaned it from a response to a YouTube video but it pretty much sums it up.

Christianity: The belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree. Makes perfect sense.

Or maybe I like this because I just drank 3 beers.

Who knows.

7/19/2007

7/11/2007

Atticus walks

Atticus has finally started to walk more than crawl. He still has major attitude and always complains and cries when he doesn't get what he wants.

He hit Lolo in the head yesterday with the handle of a short broom made for kids. London really cried on that one.

London has been staying up nights after we put her to bed. She will get back up out of bed and turn on her light and play in her room. She might do this for another hour (her bedtime is 8:30) and then get up at about 5:30 in the morning.

London has been taking swimming lessons and is doing very well. She is at the eel level at the YMCA which is the same class she has been in for about four sessions now. She is still too small to progress on to another more advanced class.

The wife's bloodwork came back from her physical. Her LDL, HDL, overall cholesterol, triglycerides and blood pressure are all fantastic. Even though she is overweight she is extremely healthy when you look at those numbers- much more so than me.

Adrienne has been sick. We thought she had an ear infection and the wife took her to the Urgent Care this weekend. They dianosed her with an ear infection and gave her a prescrip for Amoxicillin. After two days of taking that she broke out in little bumps all over her torso and back. That took antoher trip to the doctor to be told that her ear infection was cleared up. The doctor seemed to think that she did not have an ear infection at all because it would take longer than two days for Amoxicillin to clear up the ear infection. He surmised that is must have been some sort of viral infection that went away and that the bumps were an allergic reaction to the amoxicillin.

I wrote my first check against the promissory note that I took to buy 1/2 of the business I am running.

Still not getting enough sleep or exercise.

Working too much.

Someone has to cover the costs of raising this family!!!

6/29/2007

Yummy Red

I just finished the last sip of a 1997 Viansa Augusto Barbara. I got the bottle when I joined the Viansa wine club after my honeymoon back in 2000. From what I have red, 10 years is a little too old for this wine but I absolutely loved it! It leaves me wanting more. I have several more bottles left from that time when I had disposable income to spend on wine. When they are gone I guess I will have to start cooking meth to support my wine habit.

6/19/2007

The boy is falling behind

Atticus still will not walk. He might take one or two steps only when he is close enough to jump on you. Adreinne is walking just about everywhere now.

Lolo can recognize many different letters and traces them with her finger. She is curious about letters and the sounds that they make. Like ball begins with "buh" and turtle begins with "tuh". And she can look at all the numbers and tell me what they are. She is on a roll. I am concerned that her new school won't keep her on that roll.

For the summer she is attending a church school program at Trinity United Church of Christ. Today was he first day and she seemed to like it. Dammit I can't get away from these churches!!!

6/16/2007

Southern Fried Everything

People in the area where I live deep fry everything. I have tasted foods that should never be fried much less deep fried like pickles, cake, twinkies, and now the next big thing to eat here is deepfried yeast rolls. I would rather eat the ass-end out of a skunk with rigormortis.

The only thing I really like deep fried is a whole turkey. You can peel off the skin and eat the nongreasy breast that has had all the delicious juices locked in by the deep frying process and it picks up a hint of the peanut oil flavor. Other than that, nothing else should be deep fried.

People in the area where I live have no clue what real lettuce is. Lettuce to them is iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce sucks. It is like eating nutritionless crunchy water. Give me spinach, romaine or baby greens any day.

People here only eat white bread which I consider to be a nutritionless and tasteless white fluff. Go to a grocery store and there are maybe two different types of whole grain bread and about twenty different brands and types of white bread.

Gee. I wonder why seven out of ten people in the South are overweight. Maybe it has something to do with the garbage that they put into their bodies.

6/13/2007

Deal is done - sleepless times ahead

I have just closed on the deal to buy half of the company that I am running. It is a shitload of money and I have ten years to pay it off. I am still concerned about our finanical situation. We spend more than I make, and I make a lot for this part of the country. The wife doesn't seem to worry about this at all which is one of the rubs in our marriage.

Call me a tightwad but it drives me insane that I continually walk through the house and turn off the lights. My parents were pretty frugal- and they raised me to be that way. I think the wife's parents are somewhat frugal as well but that frugality certainly didn't rub off on her. I don't know. I do know that it drives me crazy that she won't take the time to try to save and conserve. Well at least she does recycle and yes there are many many other things that she does to my approval it is just this one thing that drives me batty.

I have replaced all the lightbulbs in the house with compact fluorescent because she is constantly leaving lights on. Even though these use substantially less electricity it still doesn't make sense to leave them on when you exit a room.

She has a hard time remembering to do other things like lock doors when she leaves. Today our next door neighbor had someone walk into their house through an unlocked door and steal some computer equipment. I hope this will motivate the wife to lock the doors when she leaves the house.

I have decided to have another ablation surgery to try to cure this recurring atrial fibrillation that is causing a lot of problems in my trying to live a normal life. I am currently taking 150 mg of propafenone (Rhythmol) three times a day and I despise taking medication. I was considering going to the Cleveland Clinic to have the ablation done by Dr. Andrea Natale but I can't even get in there for a consult until the end of August and then the ablation probably wouldn't be done for six or more months. I have already met all my deductibles this year on our health insurance so I have decided to have it done by Dr. Fitzgerald at NC Baptist Hospital in Winston-Salem by the end of August when my deductibles go back up.

That is another thing that drives me crazy about the wife. If she even senses that there is a sniffly or runny nose or any other very minor ailment or low grade fever with any one of our children she gives them Tylenol or Motrin (Acetaminophen or Ibuprofen). My philosophy is totally different. I have heard the doctors say that there is no need for Tylenol or Motrin unless a child has a fever of 101 or over. I just don't like giving medicine just to give medicine. What effect does frequent doese this have on a child's liver and kidneys? The wife doesn't give more than is recommended or give more frequently than is recommended on the bottle but it just seems that the kids are taking tylenol or motrin daily three weeks out of the month.

Okay, my bitch session is over for the evening.

6/04/2007

Sickness Descends Upon the Family

Adrienne and Atticus both are sick with ear infections. Neither are sleeping very well. Atticus was up frequently last night and has already been up at least three times crying tonight as of this writing at 11:00. He can't breathe through his nose and he is so dependent on his pacifier that when he can't breathe through his nose and has to breathe through his mouth he can't suck on teh pacifier and gets really pissed off that he doesn't have that comfort.

Adrienne has a skinned nose and an ear infection. She fell twice- once on the tennis courts and once in the sunroom. Both times she landed on her face- the second time there was plenty of blood.

I am getting some sort of funk in my head and sinuses with a cough and Tamara doesn't feel so great either. At least Lolo feels fine.

6/02/2007

Twins are a Tub of Fun



Adrienne and Atticus absolutely love playing in the water.

They both say Kih Kih for Kitty and Arienne says Bah for ball. Atticus somewhat understands no. When we tell him NO (which is about every two minutes) he shakes his head from side to side in the NO fashion.

I had them out on the tennis court (in our backyard) today and Adrienne was on London's little tricycle and she got off balance and took a header on to the hard court surface. As we say in the south "She skunt up her nose." In the space of about 30 minutes she managed to his her head three times. The other times were a direct fall while walking on the patio and she was playing with Atticus (he was in the doors of the gas grill... real safe huh) and she shut the grill door on her head.

5/29/2007

Twins turn One

We had a rather fun party this past Saturday afternoon to celebrate the twins first year out of the womb. My sister flew down from Indianapolis and both of my brothers and their families showed up as well as both sets of grandparents and many friends.

Adrienne is walking. She is not walking exclusively but she will stand up and waddle over to something if it convenient. She can walk across the room if she wants to but she will mostly still crawl if she wants to get there quickly.

Atticus is taking steps but definitely not walking.

They had their year checkup at the doctor and did very well with the three shots. We waited for what seemed to be an eternity for the doctor to show up and then for the nurse to return with the shots. All this was happening during their morning nap time so they were very tired and grouchy.

After I got home from work and we ate I put out the new water slide that mom got for the kids. Lolo absolutely loved it. She would sqeal with excitement every time she slid down the slide. Of course the twins had to get in on the action so they crawled over and up to the top of the hill as well getting completely dirty with leaves, bark, mulch and mud. On top of this they both were soaked from head to toe.

We filled up a large pan with warm water and gave them all three baths. I had to change the water once it became so dirty from all the mess all over them.

Since they are a year old we tried to put them to sleep without a bottle. It was no problem for Adrienne, she went straight to sleep without any fuss. Of course Atticus screamed continuously for about 45 minutes so we gave in and gave him a bottle of milk and he went right to sleep.

5/18/2007

Adrienne Takes Steps

Adrienne took a few steps yesterday. She is standing very regularly on her own accord without holding on to anything. She took several steps to get to the sofa, to a toy, and to her little lawnmower on the tennis court last night.

Atticus really doesn't want to walk yet. That is fine with us.

As our friend with 7 year old twins told me.....

Push them down!!!

5/07/2007

Atticus wants to walk

Atticus is standing on his own unsupported fairly regularly when it is convenient for him. He actually took one step today when Mom and Dad were here. I actually didn't see it but he took one step and I think he really didn't realize it.

Beautiful day today- sunny and breezy. I hung out with Lolo, Adrienne and Atticus on the tennis courts. We took all three of them to Sams club to buy diapers and potting soil.

Lolo was a flower girl in Kristy's wedding last night. She was so damn cute that everyone kept talking about her. She did fine walking down the ailse purposefully dropping rose petals one by one and blocking out the ring bearer when he tried to stay beside her.

I was sitting down at the very front so I could keep her occupied during the ceremony since Tamara was a bridesmaid. The first thing she said to me was that she needed to go pee pee. I told her that she was going to have to hold it.

When it came time to walk back down the aisle out of the church she took one look at all the people looking at her and ran back to Tamara. She ended up walking out with Tamara. She was the hit of the wedding.

4/29/2007

Atticus Steps

Atticus took about two steps unaided yesterday. It was to no big fanfare. He just needed to get around my knee. He let go of the sofa and stepped one, two and then put his hand back on the sofa as if it were no big deal. He did this a couple of more times yesterday for Tamara and for Marty. I would not say he is walking now because he still has not repeated that feat as of today.

Just another milestone.

Adrienne has been sick with vomiting and diarrhea. We have been giving her pediatric electrolyte formula and suppositories that are supposed to settle her stomach.

4/19/2007

Trip From Hell

Sometimes the best laid plans just don’t work out… especially if it involves air travel….and most especially if that air travel is in Central America. The trip I had planned was a rather simple one. I was to leave Charlotte on Monday and fly to Guatemala City via Dallas on American and then on to San Pedro Sula via Taca and then back home to Charlotte via Miami on American. The trip was to attend a trade show in Guatemala City and our factory in Hondruas.

It just so happened that a particularly nasty nor’easter was in the process of wrecking its way through the northeast. One of my employees was supposed to catch a flight out of Charlotte the same morning of the same Monday that I was to leave.

He never made it through security. The airport was so jammed with delayed and stranded travelers that he ended up driving from Charlotte to Michigan. Charlotte is a USAirways hub and he was supposed to be flying USAirways. Fortunately for me (or possibly unfortunately) my flight was on American and the plane was arriving from Dallas so they did not have the same issues with delays and the airport was somewhat calm when I arrived. The lines for USAirways check in were insane but the American check in was a breeze.

So I sat at the gate and waited. The flight arriving from Dallas was a little late in getting to the gate and we departed about ten minutes late. I didn’t think much about it even though I only had a forty minute layover in Dallas before I was to catch my flight to Guatemala.

So we landed in Dallas and taxied to the gate. We stopped on the tarmac and the pilot announced that our gate was still occupied by the previous flight and that we were going to have to wait until the plane cleared out. At this point I still had about thirty minutes before my flight left for Guatemala.

Twenty minutes later we were still sitting on the tarmac waiting for the gate. I got on the phone and called American Airways who informed me that the flight to Guatemala was delayed and that there was still a chance that I could make that flight. If not they were going to send me Miami on a flight that left in another hour.

So I ran off the plane. I ran through the terminal, I ran to the shuttle train to get to the D gate from our A gate. I ran off the shuttle to the gate but I already knew that I had missed the flight.

The nice woman at the gate booked me on the 7:00 flight to Miami and then on a noon flight to Guatemala the next day. After I get my boarding pass from her I go to the departure status monitors to see that the flight to Miami is delayed by two hours- it departed at 9:15 pm and arrived in Miami at 12:55 am. Great!!

So to Miami I went.

Off the plane in Miami I went to the first available American Airlines agent who booked me a hotel room at the downtown Radisson along with vouchers for transportation to the hotel and back and room and food. I got to the Radisson about 2:30 am.

I didn’t sleep too much and got up about 8:00 am and enjoyed the excellent breakfast buffet at the Radisson. I tried not to stuff myself with foods that cause premature death.

I got back to the airport and boarded my flight without any incident. The two and a half hours to Guatemala went smoothly and getting though customs and immigration was a breeze in Guatemala. I was surprised that I didn’t even have to wait on the shuttle to take me to the Grand Tikal Hotel more than thirty minutes.

I met Robert at the hotel and immediately got some food at one of the restaurants in the Hotel. It was kind of like an upscale Asian Stir Fry. I had a grilled ostrich filled that was really good. Internet access was $10 per day and you had to take your laptop to the geek wannabes and they changed the TCP/IP settings in your computer so you could get access so I just used Robert’s computer since he had already been through that exercise.

I failed to print out the one file that I needed to take to the show that outlaid the specification of all the fabric that I was wanting to source in Central America. So I went to the business center in the hotel to print out the legal sized sheet to give to prospective suppliers. After twenty minutes of the business center employees trying to get one of their computers to print out the very simple legal landscape document we gave up and hit the show.

First we met Karen Facusse with Rio Lindo in Tegucigalpa. They might be able to make some of our lighter fabrics. Then we met with another company based in Guatemala who believe that they can do all of our fabrics. I can’t recall the company’s name and I am too lazy to look for their business cards.

The hotel where we stayed called Gran Tikal Futura is a large hotel with a very open and spacious lobby that is 10 stories high all enclosed from the elements. The elevators ascend inside this large space. The Hotel is attached to two malls and the exposition center where the show took place. The expo center was smaller than most of the ones I have been to in the US but for us it seems that it can be a very successful show.

Robert and I walked across the elevated walkway past the beggars and candy vendors to go to a steakhouse called La Estancia. I had steak in wine sauce and it was pretty damn good. That blew my red meat for the week.

The next day we hit the show again and talked with a company that can make our knit wrists for us in Guatemala. That could be promising as well. We finally caught the shuttle back to the airport about 3:30 pm for our 5:30 flight to San Pedro Sula. The line at the Taca counter in the airport in Guatemala was the posterchild for inefficiency and chaos. We did eventually get checked in and to the gate.

We boarded the ATR dual turboprop plane for the uneventful one hour flight in a steambath to San Pedro Sula. After we landed in San Pedro Sula it really started to get interesting.

Robert breezed through immigration without incident. When I handed my passport to the young immigration official, he looked closely at my expiration date and said “no… tres meses.” He called over his supervisor who took me aside and started to explain something to me in Spanish. I began to piece it together when Robert walked within sight and I called him over to help translate. In retrospect, this was a very large mistake.

The immigration supervisor began to explain to Robert that Honduras does not allow travelers into its country if their passport expires within three months. My passport expires July 14, 2007 and today was April 18, 2007. Robert, being Robert, got very stern in his tone of voice and said a bunch of stuff to the immigration supervisor in Spanish which I could not follow. The immigration supervisor told us that I would have to stay overnight in a motel and then go directly back from whence I came the next day and subsequently confiscated my passport and boarding pass

Then I look over at one of the two baggage claim carousels and see a total of three pieces of luggage that came off the plane. Twenty minutes later after all passengers from the small plane had gotten through immigration and the carousel had been stopped we realized that all the passengers baggage did not make the flight with us from Guatemala. Yes that is right, there were only three pieces of luggage on the flight with about forty passengers. Wouldn’t you think that the airline employees loading the plane in Guatemala would notice that something was wrong when there were forty passengers and only three pieces of luggage to load on the plane?

So we wait in line again. While waiting in line I recognized someone. It was Russ Pierce. He was on the flight with me. He had set up our first production control software and pretty much raped us for about $40,000. Regardless, I am still very cordial to him when I see him (I had also run into him on a flight to Mexico City a year ago) even though he is still kind of an asshole.

Robert filled out all the paperwork for tracking the lost luggage and the lady who was helping trace the bags called her supervisor to come talk to me about my situation. While we were waiting to fill out the paperwork Robert’s wife Sara called and robert explained what was going on. She then called Taca to find out what was happening. Sara called Robert back and told him that the representative she talked to at Taca informed her that the immigration supervisor was going to let me in the country but then Robert “yelled’ at him and pissed him off so he retaliated by enforcing the law.

Robert’s take on the situation is that he did not yell at the immigration supervisor but that the immigration supervisor was trying to extort some money from me in the form of a bribe and since we did not offer any money, he enforced the law. I believe this could be true however Robert certainly did not help the situation with the tone of voice and the attitude he gave the immigration supervisor. I believe that if Robert had been nice and cordial to the immigration supervisor I would have been allowed into the country even though I was four days past the official deadline.

When Sara told Robert this, he certainly yelled at her. Robert has this problem. He leads me to believe that thinks everyone but him is an idiot and that they need to be controlled. That is how he runs his factory. But it really fucks thing up in situations like this. I really needed to be able to speak Spanish during this situation.

The Taca supervisor soon arrived. He was a very young man by the name of David who spoke very good English. I explained to him my situation and how I was going to miss my meetings the next day and how I felt that Taca Airlines was responsible because they did not check my passport expiration date.

So he told me that he would arrange for me to stay in a hotel and that Taca would pay for it. He said that he was very busy at the check in and would try to get a “monitor” from immigration so I could leave the airport. Apparently this monitor was to shadow me so I would not skip out and flee without my passport.

Robert took the paperwork for reclaiming the bags and left the airport with his wife Sara at about 7:30. He gave me his cell phone to use. Robert and Sara went home where Robert dropped off Sara, got some gas, got some food and returned to the airport.

In the meantime our bags had been rerouted through San Salvador and arrived at about 8:30. Robert arrived with the food about 9:00 and while I was eating my “chicken whopper” (yuck) David arrived with my monitor and explained to me that he had gotten a room for me at the Banana Inn in La Lima and had booked a flight for be back to Guatemala. I requested for him to check at the Gran Hotel Sula where I had my reservations. He called but said they had given away my reservation to someone else and that the Intercontinental was full.

Taca paid for the taxi to take my monitor and me to the Banana Inn. The monitor’s name was Roberto and he was a fresh-faced young kid who spoke pretty broken English. Robert followed us to the hotel which is in the Zona Americana in La Lima, only a five minute drive from the airport. By the time we got to the Banana Inn it was about 9:45. I got settled into the room and Robert and I talked business. I gave him the $200 thermostats and samples that were sent with me. Robert took off and I had to call him back once to give him machine parts. I stayed up and watched some stupid movie about this dude named Blade who hunted and killed vampires. I think Blade was Wesley Snipes.

The Banana Inn did have wireless internet for free!

I stayed up until about 1:00 am so I really didn’t get much sleep. We went back to the airport at 5:15 so I could try to catch the American flight back to the US of A. Roberto escorted me back via Taca paid Taxi to the airport where I waited in another line to try to get my ticket changed. After paying the $110 fee they changed my flight and gave me a boarding pass on the 7:00 am American flight to Miami.

After checking my bags, my escort Roberto handed over my passport and walked me to the area where you go upstairs to pay $33 for the privilege of leaving Honduras. He then started telling me something about a Hotel security fee that had not been paid. He really wasn’t making much sense with his poor English. What I understood him saying was that the Hotel was charging me a $50 security fee and that I needed to pay him.

I informed him that it was Taca’s fault that I had to leave the country early and that they were paying for all my expenses during my brief stay in Honduras. He backed down and said that it was ok and that he would go talk to the Taca supervisor.

That is how it works in Central America. The culture is one of corruption and bribery. There was not security fee. Roberto just wanted me to give him $50. Thank goodness I haven’t run into a lot of that in business.

Maybe I should look on the bright side of things. I guess Roberto could have taken me somewhere and said that I wasn’t going anywhere until I coughed up the money. I could have had to go back to Guatemala and then fend for myself getting back to the US. It cold have been worse.

3/09/2007

Toofy

Atticus got his first tooth on March 6. We took him and Adrienne to the doctor for their 9 month checkup and I noticed it coming in on his upper gum. Yesterday he got another tooth on his upper gum. He is going to be one goody looking kid. To buck teeth and no teeth on his lower jaw. Adrienne has had her two lower teeth for quite a while now.

The kids can continued to be sick, sick, sick. London has bronchitis and an ear infection along with painful earaches. Atticus has a very deep yucky sounding cough and Adrienne has an ear infection.

At least Adrienne is always happy. She is such a happy baby. Then there is her brother- always pissed off. He crawls around and cries constantly.

These three kids are taking so many damn antibiotics that pretty soon all bacteria will be resistant to all the antibiotics. I can't count the number of Omnicef and amoxicillin prescriptions we have gone through.

London absolutely hates some of her medicine and we have to constantly threaten her with going back to the hospital to get her to take it. It is a dirty tactic but it works, by Mars. London has been absent from the Montessori school for over a week now. She missed her VCUG because she was sick and now it is rescheduled for March 15.

The wife has been going insane with all three at home all day long. Yesterday she was upstairs and had left Adrienne by herself downstairs and the next thing she knew Adrienne was crawling down the upstairs hall. She had climbed up the staircase in the kitchen by herself and had made it successfully without incident. At 9 months old if she slipped and fell it could have killed her. I am to blame for a lot of the problem because I have not installed the gates at the bottom of the stairs. We jam a chair up against the bottom of the staircase but obviously Adrienne has figured out how to get around the chair.

I am having so many PVC's (premature ventricular complexes) that can't drink. I really miss my daily glass of wine and I miss microbrews too.

3/08/2007

Racked out in Reno

This is what I wrote on my Crackberry when laying in the emergency room in Reno.

Laying in St. Marys hospital in Reno with an IV in my left arm hooked up to an EKG and I am pissed off about being here. I went into Atrial Fibrillation between the time we took off from Dallas and when we got lost in the rental van. That jackass Brad took us about 40 miles out of the way before we figuted out that we were going the wrong way.
I started feeling like shit in the van and was being uncharachterstically quiet so the guys wondered what was wrong with me.

So it turned out to be a good thing that we had to go back through Reno to get to the house North of lake Tahoe.

Jim dialed the GPS on his phone and took us Direcctly to the hospital.

The cute chick who saw me first told me that I didn't sound like I was a resident of Reno. Dammit! I try hard not to sound like a hick but it obviously doesn't work.
My blood pressure was too high and my pulse was 112. I waited to be abmitted while the guys went to get some food.

When I was filling out the paperwork to admit me I all of the sudden went back into sinus Rhythm. This was confirmed when the got me in a bed and hooked me up to the EKG.
So here I lie in sinus rhythm with an irregular beat every 20 seconds or so waiting. At least I have already talked to the doctor. She told me that they were going to call my cardiologist at Baptist.

If I had to guess, I would suspect that there is not anything they can do unless I go back into AFib and stay there

2/19/2007

Wanna hear some more about twins?

Atticus still doesn't have any teeth. He is dying to eat solids and wants to feed himself. Adrienne will constantly go to Atticus and take away from him any object with which he is playing. He gets so pissed off and cries.

Atticus has some sort of eczema on his left let and face.

Adrienne has learned that it is fun to spit out her food by blowing a big breath of air through pursed lips. The green peas fly everywhere.

Last night both the wife and I were out of the room and left the twins in their room very briefly ( bad idea). I cam back into the room in less than a minute to find both of them in the bathroom splashing gleefully in the unflushed toilet. Adrienne had a wad of urine soaked toilet paper in her mouth and Atticus was elbow deep in piss as the water sloshed and swirled from their stirring hands. Unfortunately there were no turds in the toilet.

You can't turn your back on those little fuckers for a second... they are always up to no good. Mostly Adrienne sits back and watches as Atticus bumbles his way through whatever he is doing. He always ends up crawling and crying. Something is always pissing him off.

Yesterday Atticus pulled up on the open door of the dishwasher and pulled out all the dirty utensils and deposited them on the floor with as much clanging and noise as he could make.

Trying to change both of the hellions diapers is a lesson in frustration and futility. They wriggle and squirm and try to roll over on the stomach. They really hate lying on their backs for any more than two seconds without some sort of distraction. Atticus always ends up screaming while twisting like an alligator rolling on the bottom of the swamp drowning its prey.

Then if changing the diapers isn't bad enough you have to put on their clothes of pajamas. Maybe a shot of liquor for me and one for the twins will help to make dressing and diaper changing easier.

Atticus crapped his pants five times today.

Way back when, Adrienne was so easy to put to sleep... just lay her in the crib and she sucked her thumb and went to sleep. Atticus was such a peckerhead to try to get to sleep. I would rock him to sleep and he would be fast asleep. Put him in his crib and he starts crying. Rock to sleep, put in crib, and cry. Sometimes I repeated this little game five or six times before the little crumbmuncher would go to sleep.

Now it is the other way around. Adrienne is the little crapnapper to put to sleep. Rock her to sleep and put her down and she cries. The difference is that the wife and I don't give a shit anymore and we just let her cry until she goes to sleep.

Atticus goes to sleep easily now. Give that little fucker a bottle and he is out. Throw him in the crib and he is good for the night. He just started sleeping through the night about a week ago.

We had both cribs in one room and the two little assmonsters slept in the same room. Every (and I mean every) night the male infant (Colonel Stinky as I like to call him) woke up about 1:00 to 2:00 am and started crying. If you let him cry he would wake up Adrienne and she would start crying. If you let her cry she would wake up Lolo and then Bill Clinton would become ethical.

So, the wife was getting up with him and rocking him back to sleep every night. Sometimes it took five minutes sometimes it took two hours. This went on for about 8 months. I felt pretty bad for the wife cuz she would not wake me up unless they both were screaming. So I slept through most all nights. She was a walking pissed off sleep deprived angry person for a long time.

I finally put the Pack n Play in another room and we put Lance Corporal Stinky in that contraption and let him cry when he woke up. His crying didn't wake up any of the other offspring so it was heaven!!!! We couldn't hear him crying from our bed and we purposely did not put a monitor in his room. He had learned to wake up during the night and get a bottle even when there was nothing wrong with him.

Now he has learned that he is supposed to sleep through the night- or at least we think so because we don't hear him crying.

By the way, Adrienne, being the angel she is, has always slept through the night since a very early age.

Going to Tahoe on Wednesday to celebrate a bachelor party. The last one of my friends is getting married. I keep asking him what the hell he is going to do when his wife finds out he is gay. He is such a fuckchop.

2/14/2007

Valentines Day - Just Another Sexless Day

No Nookie for The Fid. The wife is so tired every night after taking care of three hellions that she is just not in the mood. I can't blame her for her lack of drive. That is just the way it it. Children do that to you. I am back to being a professional abstainer.

Adrienne briefly stood up for about three seconds without holding on to anything about two days ago. He hasn't done it since.

Adrienne continues to be a very happy girl. She is really good at patty-cake. Atticus does this too. The other day they sat down face to face and both patty-caked together. They are now entertaining each other and starting to play together. Adrienne always seems to get the upper hand and Atticus always seems to be pissed off. We think it is teething. He still doesn't have any teeth. Adrienne has two bottom teeth and she likes to use them when Atticus sticks his hand in her mouth.

The wife left the ignition on in the Expedition Monday night and it absolutely killed the battery. So I bought her a battery for Valentines day. Maybe that is why I am not getting laid. She baked me a cake for Valentines day and I bought her a car battery. Damn I am a romantic devil.

Took Lolo to the pediatric urologist yesterday. They did an ultrasound on her kidneys and bladder and found everything to be anatomically fine with those organs. We have scheduled her for a VCUG (catheter, fill bladder with die that shows on X-ray, lay still and try to urinate) which will be very difficult for all concerned.

Did I mention that I have not had sex in over two months? Maybe I can do more to get the wife "in the mood". I thought that I would have gotten some when we went away two weekends ago and stayed at our mountain house. Maybe Spanish Fly will help. Maybe Russell Crowe can help. I bet she would get in the mood if he was there for the taking. Russell, give me a call dude. I have a mission for you.

1/30/2007

Concerned about Lolo

Lolo peed in her pants twice today and is telling us that it hurts to pee. We are very concerned about her getting another urinary tract infection (UTI). We have scheduled a voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG) where she is catheterized and x-rays are taken as she urinates in order to determine if she has vesicoureteral reflux which is a condition where the urine ascends the ureters to the kidneys. This can be a very serious condition which can led to surgery to reattach the ureters to the bladder.

We are really hoping that she doesn't have a UTI or especially we hope she doesn't have reflux. It would be very difficult to watch her to have to go through surgery.

1/29/2007

What Do I Have To Do To Get A Secular Education Around Here?

The twins have pretty much worn me out. They are both sick again with runny noses and congestion. Atticus will not sleep through the night- always up at least once. Nevertheless, i shouldn't complain because the wife has to take care of them 24/7 and I get a vacation when I go to work.

Lolo is going to the Montessori school. I take her to school in the mornings. The wife is very concerned about Lolo going to the Montessori. I like it mainly because it is a secular education and I know the teachers well. I would rather my 3 year old daughter learn about how the world works and develop life skills than learn about Jesus. I think she should be given the opportunity to make up her own mind about what her spiritual life should be. At the age of three she does not yet have the capacity to understand and make her own decisions about something as complex as spirituality.

I attended a christian day school from Kindergarten to sixth grade and I turned out ok. I remember having to memorize bible verses every day in 5th and 6th grades and the teacher would call on each student and make him or her recite the verse from memory. Nevertheless, my education did not brainwash me and I felt like I got a pretty good education but I can't help but wonder how much more I could have learned if I weren't spending time learning about something that I don't consider important at this stage of my life.

I just want my daughter to grow up to be able to think for herself and to be critical of what people tell her and what she sees and reads in the world.

The little town I live in has a fair share of public schools which in my opinion are lacking when it comes to a private secular education. Being that this is the bible belt there are plenty of christian elementary schools. There are NO private secular schools besides the Montessori. For me, this really, really is a negative point to living in this small town.

The wife wants to send Lolo to the same elementary school that I attended. I am hesitant. The wife is uncomfortable with the Montessori method so far. I believe that it is mainly because she was raised with very traditional values. Damn, for that matter, I was too. My parents took me to Sunday school and church very regularly. My views on religion changed drastically when I was in my mid 20s and now I have absolutely no desire to attend church. My wife on the other hand feels the draw.

This is one of the areas of our marriage that needs work. It is going to be resolved by me attending church with her against my will. I will do this if that is what it takes to keep my family as one cohesive unit. Hopefully I can be there to help my children keep an open mind.

In this part of the US of A you can't blow your nose without hitting a church. Practically everything revolves around churches. The only thing that I miss about being active in a church are the social aspects. Damn, most of my first sexual experiences were with the girls in my church youth group!!! Well, of course i miss that but on a more mature level, I miss getting to know other successful business people and members of my local community.

So I guess i will suck it up and go to church and blow an hour sitting there listening to music I really don't like and hearing stories that I really don't believe (dead men raising from the grave, floods that cover the entire earth and one of each species fits on a boat) and giving money to a cause that I consider to be backed by a fairy tale.

So in case you haven't figured it out, I am agnostic. This means to me that I believe that a higher being can be neither proved or disproved. I believe that accepting the bible or any other religious text simply because it is there and other people accept it is painting too simple a picture of the real world. I believe that prayer and church attendance is a waste of my time. I believe that a person can be raised with a secular upbringing and still have a solid foundation of morality, integrity and a profound sense of right and wrong. I belive that f there is a higher being then it certainly doesn't control every aspect of my life- I have an internal locus of control.

I could go on and on but to summarize I am a lonely conservative infidel in a sea of people who accept religion without question and you can't get away from it- especially if you marry into it. Fortunately, although the wife is a believer, she has a healthy skepticism of devout believers.

If I didn't despise cold weather I might move elsewhere where there are more secularist minded individuals. I don't know if my conservative mindedness would allow me refuge there or not. I am a rare conservative agnostic capitalist. I don't think there are very many of us out there. If you are like me I would love to hear from you!!

1/11/2007

One more thing

We noticed today that Adrinne is getting her first tooth! A little hard thingy is poking its way through her bottom gum.

She rules.

What a nightmare of a week.

Lolo finally came home from the hospital today. After four nights and two IV sticks and lots of rattled nerves our sick little girl got to come home today. Fortunately she feels much better.

She had lots of visitors in the hospital. One of Lolo's school mates named Alyssa and her mother came by to see Lolo (I didn't even notice that Alyssa's mommie was a hottie) as well as two of her pre-school teachers, all the grandparents and Mercury knows who else!! She got so many damn presents and dolls and coloring books that I needed to rent a pack-mule to carry all that shit home.

She was sent home with a prescription for Nitrofurantoin which is an antibiotic specifically for urinary tract infections. Of course none of the pharmacies in the area had it in stock. We either had to find it or Lolo had to go back to the hospital to get the necessary drugs by injection.

Finally the wife got the local Eckerd to fly it in by carrier pigeon from Botswana and now Lolo gets the pleasure of taking this nasty tasting liquid by mouth four times a day for ten days. Shit, she could have stayed in the hospital on more night and get the drugs through her IV and not had to take the drug orally but Lolo and mommie were very ready to get the hell out of the hospital.

Tonight was a challenge trying to get Lolo to bed. She didn't want anyone to come withing three feet of her arms because of the two IV sticks. She wouldn't let me change her shirt even though it was soaking wet because she refused to roll up her sleeves when she washed her hands fearing it would hurt her "boo boos".

I feel bad for the poor girl. She has been through a lot for a 3 year old!

Tuesday I took Atticus to the other local hospital for his bilateral myringotomy (tubes in both ears) . He took it very well and it was over so quickly. He showed his true colors by charming all the nurses in the outpatient center. He gets more action at 7 months than I ever did at any age.

Atticus never really sat up before this surgery. When you sat him on his bony little ass he would go immediately to crawling. Immediately after the surgery they rolled him out to me on a gurney. He was on his stomach looking up with his eyes wide open. I picked him up and sat him on the gurney and he sat right up. I don't know whether it was because he had balance now that all the pressure is off his ears or whether he felt too messed up to try to crawl, but he actually sat there for a second.

Tears started flowing shortly thereafter so I picked him up and held him until he stopped crying. He didn't cry for long at all. He was a very good boy about it.

He actually slept all night Tuesday night for the first time EVER!!!! Yay!! He slept from 7:00 pm to about 5:30 am!!! Last night he slept from 7:30 pm to 6:00 am!! Two nights in a row. Hell yes!!

The wife and I are praying to the micrognomes who live in the horry netherworld that he will sleep all night tonight and that this is a trend.

Work sucks. I have a board meeting on Monday. Big board meeting. I will be presenting my final proposal to one of the current owners of the business to buy her out. I am not very optimistic about us coming to terms. She truly has no idea what the true value of the business is and how little it really is worth.

1/07/2007

Lolo is one sick girl

Lolo is really sick. Her fever was over 105 F last night. She fought taking her antibiotics that are supposed to fight her urinary tract infection. She absolutely refused to take them in a little cup or out of a syringe. We had to hold her down and force her to take it with a syringe. When we did she just spit it out all over us. She was screaming as I tried to shoot the nasty tasting thick antibiotic liquid into her mouth with the wife holding her down.

She was so upset that she was screaming for her grandmother. We finally got her to take the antibiotic by mixing it in her juice and threatening her to "get the syringe" again if she didn't drink all of the juice.

Her fever came down to about 101 F after some acetaminophen. At about midnight last night I went into her room and took her temperature again and it was back up to 105 F. It is so scary! I prepared some ibuprofen in her juice and took it to her. With Lolo lying flat in bed she leaned forward to drink her ibuprofen-laden juice. After the first sip she vomited a large amount all over herself and, her bed, pillow and blanket. She was shaking and quivering uncontrollably.

I took Lolo out of her bed and laid her on the floor. She felt so bad that she just laid on the floor with her eyes closed. After I got the sheets on the bed and a new pillowcase and put Lolo back into bed she willingly drank the rest of her ibuprofen juice and her fever eventually came back down again.

I went to bed and the wife took over. Lolo's fever shot back up again in the morning and she vomited again. She just was not able to hold down food. We called Lolo's pediatrician who was on call. He asked a few questions and told us to meet him at the emergency room.

We loaded up the car and took Lolo to the emergency room. She was just burning up! Lolo is used to having her temperature taken with an ear thermometer. They did not have one in the emergency room so it was either orally or rectally. She refused to do it orally so we had to hold her down and get her temperature rectally. The result was at least 103.8 F. She was 90 cm tall. They immediately gave her two acetaminophen suppositories to help bring down her temperature.

The doctor arrived and discussed with us what he thought might be going on. Lolo was showing all the signs of a kidney infection. The doctor ordered a slew of blood test, urinalysis and antibiotics requiring an IV. Once again we had to hold Lolo down as the nurse put in the IV. Lolo was screaming "Get it ayout, get it ayout" referring to the IV. The nurse did a good job of collecting the three vials of blood out of the screaming toddler. Fortunately the tears didn't last that long and the nurses brought her a popsicle and along with her lower fever she felt good enough to play "name that color" with me.

The doctor noted that he had never heard anyone say "out" the way Lolo did. He obviously enjoyed her "Belwood" dialect of the English language. Belwood is the little town in North Carolina from where the wife hails and was reared. Lolo spends a lot of time with her grandparents in Belwood where she has picked up this dialect.

We did not expect that we would be staying at the Hospital. The doctor admitted Lolo to the hospital and told us to expect a 2 to 3 night stay. He condition can be very serious and can lead to kidney damage and failure. The wife and I are very concerned.

The doctor also told us to expect that her fever would continue to rise and decline repeatedly for a couple of days even with the powerful antibiotics that she will be taking. After she was admitted to her own room on the pediatric floor her fever spiked again at 105 F. This time she willingly took ibuprofen. Her IV was pinching at the top so the Nurse had to retape it. Anytime we touched or messed with her "boo boo" as she called her IV, she would cry. The nurse retaped it and put a splint on her arm so she wouldn't bend her arm and aggravate the IV.

It is difficult to explain the horrible feeling and emotion I feel when I see my daughter sick to this degree. I'm not normally a very emotional person. I have been accused of being the opposite, but when it comes to my children I can easily get overwhelmed with emotion. If I were a firm believer I would pray but at this point I will simply think positive and hope that further painful tests are not needed.

1/04/2007

I need a raise

It seems I just can't make enough money to quench my family's insatiable appetite for cash.

The twins have been to the doctor about five or six times in the past two months and London in just getting over a urinary tract infection. Now Atticus went to the ENT doctor and he will need tubes put in his ears. The deductible on our insurance is $1000 per person so Atticus will blow his away pretty quickly. I am buring up all the equity I had left over from my last house.

But nothing is more important than spending the money on the health of my children. Atticus was not sitting up and playing like his sister. Now we believe it is because he couldn't balance due to the chronic ear infections and all the fluid in his middle ear. We also believe that this is the reason is always so cranky and will not sleep through the night. Without this surgery the doctor believes that Atticus will continue to have chronic ear infections which could affect his speech development. The risks are minimal so we have decided to proceed with the operation on Tuesday January 9th.

Check out this site to see a quick video of the operation to insert tubes in the ears called a Myringotomy. I had this done when I was a young boy but the tubes were much different.

1/02/2007

Just a Few Random Notes

The first night I slept in our new house (new to us) was December 9, 2006 after returning late from a trip to Honduras

Adrienne has been sitting up for about two weeks.

Atticus crawled the entire way up the stairs from the kitchen to the second floor in our house. He also is very fussy and getting over a very nasty ear infection. He won't sit and play like his sister. He has the ability to sit but will not do it. He has to be crawling.

Adrienne loves her sister. She loves to watch Lolo and frequently giggles with delight while watching her. Adrienne will sit by herself and play for extended period of time without getting upset and crying.

Atticus mostly cries when you put him down. When he is feeling well he will crawl very quickly to something dangerous. He loves to crawl from the nursery to the bathroom and pull up on the tub.

I took Lolo to the doctor yesterday. She has a urinary tract infection. She was very well behaved. She asked if the doctor was going to put a sore on her behind referring to the flu shot she had a couple of months ago.

When I leave for work in the mornings she demands to have "hug kiss" and frequently asks "You going to make me some money?" She has been asking me to buy her Hello Kitty Gummies at Honeys (a local grocery store). This morning she asked me to buy her Wolf Gummies.