Got back in late last night from Honduras. Long damn trip, but they always are. Now they are especially long because I have a daughter to come back to. The wife had no major problems when I was gone. We found out that the blood in her stool is not caused by Herschsprungs disease! That is great news. The daughter did very well in the doctors office with her barium enema. Apparently she didn't even really cry that much. She just sucked on Tamara's pinky finger and was fine. Today there was no blood in the daughter's diapers. We are still waiting on the results of the stool culture done at the pediatrician's to see if that will tell us anything. The chances are that we might not ever find out what was causing blood in her stool. At least we know that it is nothing serious.

She still isn't sleeping well. She slept with the wife in the bed all last week. It is going to become harder and harder to get her to sleep in the crib. We just can't stand her hear her cry. She does fine in the baby bjorn carrier. She likes being held close. She is on my chest right now in the baby bjorn carrier sleeping like a baby is supposed to. The wife is taking a nap.

Back to the grind tomorrow.

I made it to Honduras without any problems. On the way down I found out that everything is fine with the daughter. She had her barium enema and it showed that everything was normal. She just has a lot of gas. The reason for the blood is still undiagnosed.

The flight into San Pedro Sula got in early and I had to wait about 15 minutes for Robert. We went to the plant for about 2 hours and then we went to El Portal de los Carnes (The Meat Portal) and I had fish ceviche that had white sauce and filet mignon. Everything was delicious. I also had two Salva Vidas. I am staying in the Gran Hotel Sula - Best Western and fortunately have a good, steady and free albeit slow internet connection. I have a long week ahead of me.

I am leaving for Honduras tomorrow. I really don't want to go and leave my family here. Also it is getting more dangerous down there by the day. Some of my Honduran friends have moved to the US to find a better and safer life for their children.

The daughter had ups and downs today. I discovered that she liked the baby carrier yesterday. We took her for a walk yesterday using the Baby Björn carrier (straps the baby on to your cheast) and again today. She sleeps when she is in motion.

She fed tonight and the wife just couldn't get her to stop crying after the feeding. Her stools are all green now instead of the wife. That concerns us along with the blood in the stool. I am hoping everything goes smoothly tomorrow at the doctor with her barium enema. I am really keeping hoping (since I don't pray to a myth) that there is nothing wrong with the daughter.

Mother and baby are sleeping right now. London will not sleep for a long period of time without being held so she has been cosleeping with us for the past two nights.

I am already ready to come home.

The daughter is still not sleeping very well. The wife is still not getting much sleep. She has noticed blood in the daughter's stool for a week now and took her to the doctor yesterday. The doctor tested her stool and confirmed that there was blood present. In order to rule out any serious problems London will have an X-ray. She will get a barium enema first. The purpose is to rule out Hirschsprung's disease. She is growing very well. She weighed 10lbs 8oz yesterday at the doctor. She is not vomiting and she doesn't have a fever, so it seems unlikely that there is a more serious problem with her. Nevertheless, we are worried.

She just will not lay down to sleep and get more than a couple minutes of sleep without being held. We just tried to put her in the swing after rocking her to sleep after she has eaten. We know that she is not in pain, she is not hungry and that she doesn't have a dirty diaper. So when we put her in the swing and she started to cry we let her cry. We had positively identified that her cry was a "pick me up and hold me" cry. So we let her cry for about five minutes then she quieted herself. This quiet period lasted about 5 minutes and then she started to cry, then wail and Tamara couldn't stand it any more so she picked her up again.

We really shouldn't have to hold our daughter all day long. We know that the "attachemnt parenting" theory calls for holding your baby all the time and wearing a sling, but we are torn between this and the Parent Directed Feeding theory that instructs parents to put the baby down when it is time for a nap and let the baby cry herself to sleep- as long as the reason for crying is not an indication of something serious like hunger. One thing is for sure- parenting isn't easy

The daughter did well last night- she was up at 2:00 am to feed and again at about 5:00 am but went directly back to sleep both times immediately. This is a blessing and a big help to the wife.

Mom and Dad brought us a load of wood and unloaded it and sat in the driveway for me to get home. They didn't want to bother the wife and couldn't call her because she turned off her cell phone.

The daughter did pretty well today. She had about a 3 hour fussy period where the wife couldn't identify what was wrong. She was feeding when I got home at 7:00 pm. She went back to sleep and is still sleeping now at 10:00. We are both hoping that a routine is being established.

My daughter seems to be stabilizing into some sort of a routine- we think. Tamara has had two good nights with her where she got up only twice to feed. She still gets pretty damn fussy during the day with bouts of crying that seem to have no cause- maybe gas.

Nevertheless, she slept well today while I was at work and we are keeping our fingers crossed that she does well tonight. I was really concerned for the wife and the lack of sleep. For a few nights she was getting almost no sleep- maybe a total of an hour. Plus, during the day she was not getting any sleep because the daughter was up all day being fussy. We thought babies her age were supposed to sleep 18 hours a day. Not the daughter!

Well she is doing better and tonight she had her first bath since the day she was born. The wife lined the sink with towels and I got her undressed. The wife bathed her while she cried and I took pictures.

Every day is an adventure.

Stayed at work until 11:30 last night then went by IHOP with the guys. By the time I got home it was almost 1:00 am and the daughter was up.

Aparently the daughter was not a happy camper today. The wife said that she was fussy all day. We can't seem to get her to sleep at all unless she is on the breast. Hopefully it is just a stage. I am tired as hell but probably not as tired as the wife!

It is 10:20 pm on Wednesday night and I am still at work. I guess I wont get to see my wife and daughter until later. This really sucks!

Tonight while I was trying to get the daughter to sleep, I had her in my arms on my chest and she slept a little. It became time to change her so I took her to the nursery and put her on the chaninging table. The wife was beat from all day with the daughter so she was sleeping. While I was changing the daughter's diaper I noticed that her dried stub of an umbilical cord had fallen off.

I couldn't find it in her cloths or on the changing table. I eventually found it on the floor in front of the couch. It was kind of a yellow almost transparent color where the clip had been and on the other end it was black where it had been attached to the navel.

Being the sicko I am, I took pictures and will put them on Snapfish.

I hope we all sleep better tonight than last night. The two beers I had did me in. I woke up at 3:00 am and didn't sleep very well after that. The wife was up and down all night.

Tomorrow is another day.

Today was my first day back at work since the birth of the daughter. I was innundated as usual. I had several large problems to deal with and a very unique problem that will call for legal action. But that is not what this blog is about.

The wife said she had a good day with the daughter at home all by herself. Apparently the daughter fed a little more frequently than before and she didn't stay at the breast for long enough for a couple of feedings. I decided to come on home at about 5:15 pm. When I got home the wife was standing there with the daughter clutched in her arms swaying back and forth trying to get London to sleep. She put the daughter in the bassinette for a much needed nap and we talked for a while.

That didn't last for very long. the daughter was up fussing again. The wife took her and I threw the dinner that the wife had prepared in the oven (Salmon with twice baked pototoes). The wife got the daughter back down for a period so she could eat.

After we were finished eating, it was time for the daughter to eat. She was stirring around and making those grunting noises like she does when she is ready to get pissed off. I picked her up and changed her lightly soiled diaper. She was fine during the diaper change- she really likes to be diaperless. I threw another diaper on her and the wife sat in the glider to feed her. She fed for a while but became really choked at the left breast. This is something that she really hasn't done before.

Well she stirred and really didn't feed well until she had a huge rectal explosion. I changed the diaper again and handed her to the wife. She fed better now.

After she fed, I took her and rocked her to try to get her to go to sleep. The wife brought me the CD that I burned for her last night. It is a 69 minute sound bit of our kitchen sink faucet running. That seems to put her at ease.

I rocked her for at least 45 minutes to try to get her to sleep. She never made it to the deep sleep where her breathing pattern is slower and more consistent. She still had that rapid breathing going, so I knew she wasn't in a deep sleep but I put her in the basinnette anyway. As of this writing at 11:15 pm she is still asleep.

Because I am a very fortunate person, I got two beers and sat my butt in our spa. I haven't been in there all winter. I sat there and pondered about how fortunate and lucky I am. Look at what I have! A great house in a great neighborhood, an awesome ski boat, a Volvo, a Dodge Ram, a second house in the mountains, a rental house for extra expense coverage, and best of all a great loving wife and beautiful daughther.

I have no reason to complain!

Last night went pretty well for me at least. Since the wife is breast feeding, she doesn't get me up when the daughter gets up in the middle of the night or early in the morning. I got in bed late at about 1:00 am and the daughter was just waking up. the wife changed her and fed her and I just fell asleep.

I found out this morning that the daughter took an hour at the breast (the glider rocker was a good investment) and then another hour to go to sleep. She just fights sleep. We really don’t know why but we speculate that it is just gas pains. the wife has eliminated all dairy from her diet. It takes a while for the effects to show up in the baby and we have waited a little less than a week. It might take a few more days to find out if the diary was bothering London or not.

I kind of feel like I am not doing my part because I have slept through the nights and the wife has not gotten me up during the early morning feedings. During the day the daughter is almost attached to the wife all day long. I just prepare the meals and make sure the wife has enough water to drink and enough food to eat. I went to the grocery store today for what seemed like the fifth time in five days, but I don’t mind a bit.

The daughter seems to be stuck in this little routine of feeding for an hour, fussing for at least an hour, and then sleeping for about an hour or a little more. In fact last night she slept from 6:00 pm to 11:00 pm! The wife got some sleep as well.

I noticed yesterday that our dog smelled clean. We have not given him a bath in about a year because he hates the water so much. Have you ever heard of a golden retriever that doesn’t like the water and won’t fetch? Now you have. Anyway, someone washed him for us. I noticed it right away because I didn’t get the everyday assault on my olfactory senses. Debbie the neighbor (Henry’s second owner) says she didn’t wash him so I have no idea who did.

Today was a different story. Debbie the neighbor came by to visit and after she left the daughter started crying. It wasn’t the mild standard cry we were used to. It was more like a grueling and straining cry. It was like a shrill- a shriek. We both felt terrible for her but nothing seemed to sooth her. It seemed like it lasted over an hour! Actually the overly-strained crying lasted probably 15 to 20 minutes, but when she is in that much pain it seems like much longer to the parents!

I took the time to clean out the office and file a bunch of old bills and papers. I am drowning in a sea of paperwork! I have most of my bills coming electronically, but I still am inundated with paper! I also drained the spa and refilled today. It was too damn cold to be outside doing that. I should have been IN the spa.

I am returning to work tomorrow after two weeks off to be at home with the wife and daughter. I am not looking forward to being back at work. Problems, problems, problems. It will take me at least a week to dig out from under all the paper and to put out all the fires! Oh well, someone has to pay the mortgages (all four) and feed the dependents.

Two weeks and one day ago my wife gave birth to a healthy screaming 8lb 3oz girl. As everyone tells you, words can't describe the feelings you exerpience when you first see the results of your blood! I am a very un-emotional man, but i sure did feel some emotion on January 22, 2004.

Tamara was 2 weeks late and we went to her ob-gyn for a non-stress test on the baby. They put a monitor on the wife's tummy to record the heartbeats for an extended period of time. We were just sitting there and watching the rate. It was steady for a long while at 130 bpm but then dipped to about 80 and slowly came back up to the norm. Initially I thought that the baby had just moved and the monitor was picking up the wife's heartbeat, but that was not the case.

As a result of our daughter's heart rate dipping the doctor instruced us to go to the hosipital for a longer period of monitoring.

I met the wife at the hospital where our daughter's heart rate was being monitired. We both stayed the night adn during the night our daughter's heart rate once again dipped several times. Speculation was that she was grabbing her umbilical cord or it could be pressed between her head and the wife's cervix. Whatever the case doctors decided to induce labor the next morning.

She was given good doses of Pitocin to start labor. Her contractions got very strong pretty quickly and she was in real pain. Tamara was much releived to get the epidural in the early evening while she was dialated at about 3 cm.

Unfortunately the wife never progressed dialation past about 5 cm so the decision was made to have a C-section. It was the coolest thing I ever watched. Again, i can't describe how awesome and overwhelming it feels to see your childs head pop out of her home for the past 9 months! If you haven't been through it you will not understand. I strongly suggest it for any fit person.

We stayed in the hospital for a total of 4 days and we took the daughter home in the middle of a somewhat rare southern U.S. snow storm.

The last two weeks have been a lesson in absolute giving. The wife is breastfeeding and her milk didn't really "come in" until day 6 which is really late. As a result we had to supplement with formula which we really didn't want to do, but the daughter's weight had not crept back up enough.

We are now on a strategy of feeding approximately every 3 hours. There are some frustrations such as fussiness and periods of what seems to be inconsollable crying and there are big adjustments for me and the wife. The frustration comes when the daughter is crying and we don't know why. She often cries and shows no signs of being hungry. Many times after she feeds she seems to refuse to sleep. It is as if she is fighting it. We know that she is tired, but she just won't go to sleep. She just cries. Since she can't directly tell us what is wrong it causes frustration. Is it hunger? Is it gas? Is it something else?

It is also frustrating when she fights sleep after feeding during our bed time. I guess this is just part of being a new parent!