The wife is a southern belle who was raised on meat and taters, sausage gravy and cat head buttermilk biscuits and can out-southern-cook that chick on Food TV from Savannah. The father is a farm-raised Pennsylvania, slaughter-a-pig-a-week-and-don't-throw-any-part-of-the-carcass-away, red-meat-is-king kind of man. We are a close family so when we get together we eat. And eat. Then we eat some more. After that we run for president of the local Typical American Glutton club.
Don't get the wrong picture.. I am (or I think I am) healthy in all respects. I exercise very frequently, compete in sprint triathlons, am not overweight at all and when I am away from my wife and family I eat reasonably (read lunch M-F).
But my family is trying to kill me.
You see when we get together the father usually cooks filet mignon. The wife bows down and worships hamburger. So most nights when I come home she has cooked something with hamburger- meatloaf, goulash, hamburger pie, spaghetti sauce with hamburger, hamburger patties. Hamburger ice cream is next. I am a good boy and don't complain. I eat what is offered because I don't and can't take the time to cook for myself and I appreciate the fact that my wife spends all day taking care of the daughter (stay-at-home wife) and prepares food on top of that.
So when around my family after I have blown my triglycerides out of the stratosphere and consumed 4000 times the recommended daily intake of cholesterol, that is when they pull out the kryptonite- - dark chocolate. I cannot control myself around dark chocolate.
I wonder if my family really loves me? Why would they be so freely in making such death foods readily available? Maybe it is that $800,000 insurance policy that I bought on my life with my wife as beneficiary.
If you are reading this after December 31, 2006 and it is the last post in my blog you know what happened.
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