It's a Piss Party!!!

Lolo has been using the potty to wee wee for about two weeks now. When she announces that she has to potty she insists that I sit on the toilet beside her. She gets quiet and looks up at me and says "Do you hear anything?" as she listens intently for the sweet sound of splashing piss stream. She will ask this about four times and then jump up and scream "I pee peed!!!"

Then she proceeds to rip to cushion off the potty and pull out the collection container and slosh her used apple juice all over the bathroom as she tries to pour it in the toilet. Now the walls and floor are coverd in Lolo piss and daddy gets to wipe it up.

I can't wait until she starts putting stink pickles in the potty.

The thing that really scares me is that Lolo knows the fucking golden arches!!!! Every time I drive by the local shit-food outlet she says "That is where I get happy meals." The wife and I sure as hell don't buy that garbage for her. Looks like I am going to have to get medieval on the grandparents.

My mother is getting me back for the torture I put her through. I picked up Lolo from her house yesterday and right before we got in the car she gave Lolo 3 Oreo cookies. By the time we reached home there was cream filling smeared on the back of the seats and a mixture of oreo cookie saliva paste and snot all over the car seat and Lolo's clothes.

Damn I must have been an evil little bastard.

Do we really work at work?

Twins = twice the fun and little time for yourself (but I still find time to blog in the wee hours of the night). Atticus is still doing the feed for 25 minutes and sleep for 25 minutes thing. It appears as if that is about 12.5 minutes sleep for each of his chins. Adrienne slept for over 6 hours last night but saves up her poop for one big one every other day (Yay!)
Now that I have my baby blogging out of the way....

I was listening to a couple of retarded disc jockeys on a local station here and they were having people call in to talk about how few hours they actually work at work. It seems that there is a widespread virus of people who spend a good part of their day goofing off at work instead of being productive.

As a person responsible for a large number of people this doesn't completely surprise me but does distress me. I believe that for the most part my employees are hard working and don't goof as much as the perceived average discussed on that radio show. However, I do frequently catch several of my employees surfing the net when they should be assholes and elbows deep in a project or their regular work.

I have had to come down on a few employees because of this. I even caught one person surfing porn. I should have fired him on the spot but I really needed him at the time and he proved to be an excellent employee otherwise so I let him off with a warning. The rest of the offenders are well over sixty years old and female so I really don't think I need to worry about them surfing porn but maybe I should watch out for compulsive obituary reading.

The bottom line is that this behavior is actually stealing from the company. I pay a decent living wage and I expect them to give me their full attention when they are supposed to be at work.

So how many "productive" hours do you put in during a full workday?

Morons Dining out on the sabbath

The opinion pages in our local paper have been kind of interesting lately. There are people in this town who go out to eat in restaurants on sundays and instead of leaving a monetary tip they leave a card that reads "Here is a tip: it is immoral to work on Sundays." A woman wrote to the paper saying that she gets at least one of these cards every time she works sundays. Of course there was not short supply of bible thumpers writing to the editor saying that they too refuse to leave money as tips on sundays.

Things like this get my brains boiling. Although I have never waited tables, I have always understood that waiting tables is a job where one depends on tips. I think most rational people understand this as well. The trouble starts with totally absurd interpretations of the bible.

If it is immoral to work on sunday then how is it moral to actually support those who do? Why go to a restaurant to eat with all those immoral people working there?

I guess if you were driving your car to church on sunday (a potentially imorral act in itself) and were broadsided by an immoral trucker delivering food to the grocery store, you should be left to die in your crumpled car because it is immoral for the EMT to come to your rescue. If somehow you were able to drag your closed minded ass out of your vehicle and an immoral power company employee on his way to restore power that keeps the heart and lung machines running at the hospital stops to give you a lift to the nearest emergency room, there would be no doctors at the hospital to treat you because it is a sin to work on sunday.

I would also have to assume that the preacher at church preaches for free every Sunday. No doubt that he preacher's contract stipulates that his or her compensation is only for Monday through Saturday. Also the assistant pastor, music director and janitor would be working gratis as well.

I have nothing against people who have blind faith from religious spirituality but I do have a lot against people who apply their blind faith as justification for hypocrisy. Living in the bible belt I see way too much of this.

I used to have this emblem on my car. A good many people had no clue as to the meaning. They didn't like my explanations either.


I could go on and on but I have to be fully awake in five hours and chances are that I will have to change a few diapers between now and then.

Random Thoughts

I am feeling kind of unispired today.

North Carolina just got the lottery earlier this year. People around here are going batshit over it. In my opinion the lottery is a tax on people who never had a statistics class. I'd rather waste money on something worthwhile like a nice bowl of vinegar ice cream.

Normally I consider myself a fence sitter when it comes to politics, but Bush is completely out of touch when it comes to his veto of the stem cell research bill. What would he do if one of his daughters lives could be saved as a result of federally funded stem-cell research?

Our soon-to-be nanny's best friend was brutally stabbed and shot to death by her husband in front of her three young children. I cannot imagine anything more horrible and unfair. There have been five murders in seven days in our small town that normally sees that number of murders in a year's time. Two of the other murders were committed by a young man who killed his father and his father's girlfriend because of the pressure he was getting to repay a $3000 debt.

Worker's comp fraud ignites passionate anger in me- especially since I have an employee who I believe is involved in it right now.

Religious fundamentalism (no matter what religion) and its interpretations scare the shit out of me. People who accept creationism and reject all the other solid evidence for evolution need to really sit down and think about this saying:

"Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open"