[Whine Mode On]
My day yesterday:
6:01- get whining daughter out of bed and fetch juice. Change daughter's soaked pull-up. Wonder why daughter was previously using potty but now would rather mess in her pants.
6:15- take shower and shave.
6:45- change female twin diaper.
6:50- prepare breakfast for 2.5 year old and watch as most of the breakfast is deposited on the floor and cocktail table.
7:00- drive to work.
7:30 to 5:00- work (vacation).
5:30- arrive home to embattled wife and attempt to dress 2.5 year old who doesn'’t want to put on swim suit.
5:45- take 2.5 year old to pool for swim lessons. Try not to notice young extremely attractive swim teacher in bathing suit.
5:50 to 6:24- make business calls.
6:30- try to convince 2.5 year old that it is time to leave.
6:45- arrive at grocery store to buy baby formula. 2.5 year old screams at top of her lungs in store because father will not buy her a light bulb. Strangers question why a 2.5 year old would want a lightbulb. Father wonders the same.
7:00- arrive home to wife attempting to get twins to sleep simultaneously.
7:15 attempt to give 2.5 year old bath while wife struggles with flailing twin.
7:25- attempt to blow dry hair of wiggling, screaming and crying 2.5 year old who is still pissed off that daddy didn't buy her a light bulb at the grocery store.
7:45- get pajamas on crying 2.5 year old screaming for mommy.
7:50- read book to somewhat subdued 2.5 year old as she puts her hands down her pants and then sniffs fingers.
8:00- put 2.5 year old in bed.
8:02- get 2.5 year old juice- the kind in the little green box because no other juice will satisfy 2.5 year old.
8:04- switch places with wife. Hold kicking male twin while wife lays on floor next to 2.5 year old in order to get her to sleep.
8:30- male twin still awake so feed male twin.
9:00- holding male twin over shoulder (the only position in which infant does not constantly wiggle) feel puke run down back and drip on floor.
9:30- continue to sway while holding male twin praying to someone that he will go to sleep.
9:50- male twin is asleep in arms. Attempt to put into crib.
9:51- male twin wakes up making gurgling noises. Pick up twin and continue to sway attempting to put him to sleep.
10:15- male twin is asleep. Attempt to put in crib.
10:16- male twin wakes up again. Pick up male twin and sway.
10:30- male twin is asleep. Attempt to put in crib. Attempt successful.
10:31- clean dried pre-digested baby formula off back and floor
10:35- heat meal in microwave
10:38- eat food
11:00- go to sleep on sofa since wife and female twin occupy queen bed previously slept in by father and mother
[Whine Mode Off]
4 comments:
You do not need an alarm to wake you up in the morning :)
You have a lot of patience.
Aye - tis a beastly day you had, matey. Give those scalliwags a little bit o' grog. Knock 'em out faster than a cannon ball to the noggin.
ARRGGH
Who says pirates have died out?
Wow. Story of my life! (Minus the twin babies, of course!) It has come to my attention that my daughter CAN NOT go to any store with me, EVER! She wants everything and anything that her little eyes set on and if she doesn't get it, a trip to the store becomes a trip to Satan's Den. The latest thing? Pitched a fit because I would let her have scotch tape or beef bullion.
Post a Comment