Well tonight started out normal enough. I arrived home and ate dinner after everyone else had finished- this is pretty normal. I normally get home about 6:00 PM. Atticus and Adrienne got in the shower together. I got them out and dried them off. My sister called and I talked to them while the hellions were running around playing. I handed off the phone to the wife so I could get the kids finished for bed. Got the pajamas on Adrienne, Atticus and Lolo and then while the wife was still on the phone.
Adreinne brought me the green from that is a puppet that croaks the tunes of Old McDonald, Frere Jacque and London Bridges. They love it when I chase them with the frog and make it nip at them when they are writhing in giggling fun on the floor. I chased Adrienne and Atticus into the the master bedroom and had a few songs they both jumped up and bolted out of the bedroom down the hall and towards Atticus' room. Atticus entered his room and immediately slammed the door as Adrienne reached for the wrong side of the door (the side with the hinges). The door slammed on her index finger and she immediately started screaming. I was right behind them but not close enough to stop the door slamming. Blood was going everywhere and I grabbed her up and took her into the master bathroom. I had a look at it and it looked like the tip of her finger was crushed.
Her fingernail was perpendicular to the rest of her finger. It made me feel so, so, so horrible for playing part of this. It was her right index finger and she is right handed. I felt like such as ass even though I knew that these things kind of happen. We are always telling the kids not to slam doors but they are kids and they don't listen to their parents.
It was about 7:40 and we needed to get to the hospital. We had two other kids and I felt that we didn't have time to put them into the car. The wife called my mother who lives about six miles away to come over. I called a neighbor because I thought we needed to get to the hospital as quickly as possible. Adrienne calmed down pretty quickly and was really brave. Fortunately the wife was more coolheaded than me and got some ice to put on Adrienne's finger.
My mother arrived before the neighbor did and I sent the neighbor home. We headed to the hospital and were seen by the triage nurse within about five minutes. Adrienne was not crying but she had been shivering some. She was very calm and cried a little bit when the triage nurse put the heart rate monitor on her uninjured finger.
So we went to an Emergency Department room and sat for about 30 minutes before we were seen by a young doctor who didn't have the best bedside manner. During the wait, Adrienne didn't cry and joked with us. I held her in my lap the entire time.
The doctor looked at it and told us that she would definitely loose her finger nail that might or might not grow back. We needed a x-ray to see if there was a fracture. Another ten minutes passed by and we wen to the x-ray department and Adrienne sat on my lap and did a great job of holding her hand in position for the x-rays. She still was not crying.
The x-ray showed that the tip of her had been fractured. The doctor called it a tuft fracture. He ended up putting four stitches in the finger to put the tip back in place. Two of the stitches were in the nail bed. Adrienne really cried during the stitching. The doctor had to inject lidocaine several times- she really screamed the first time he put the stitch needle so he put more lidocaine in the finger and she really screamed.
She was crying that she wanted to go home and when the wife or I said something like "the doctor is making it better" she sobbed and said through her tears "I don't think so" That made us all laugh.
We felt so bad for Adrienne. It was a really tough and painful thing for a three year old to go through. We were very proud of her and she did such a wonderful job. The nurse said that usually they had to hold down children. Adrienne stayed in place and didn't try to move her hand. She also was very tired. After it was all over the nurse brought her a purple popsicle and Adrienne at it all.
We stopped by McDonalds and got her chicken nuggets and a sprite with a barbie toy. The doctor wrote her a prescription for antibiotics and pain medication so I ran to Walgreens in Hickory (since it is the only 24 hour pharmacy in the county) and got back home about midnight.
I am really concerend that the doctor did a good job. I don't think he irrigated the finger enough (but I am not a doctor) and I don't konw if he got the tip positioned correctly. I am eager for an orthopedic doctor to look at an x-ray of her hand.
It just kills me to see my children hurt. I guess the moral of the story is that we need to enforce the no-slamming door policy.
9/29/2009
9/23/2009
The calm after the storm
Last night went pretty well. Initially more hell was raised and more tears flowed from Adrienne who was not giving up anything. The wife ended up sleeping all night with Atticus so she didn't get much sleep.
The melt down really didn't arrive until this morning when Atticus did not eat and began screaming the words 'I want my blue binky" over and over and over and over and over without cessation for about twenty minutes. I had to wrestle his clothes and shoes on him dealing with as much resistance as he could put up. But as I alway tell him: "I WILL win so why are you fighting?"
They all calmed down once in the Expedition. School went fine and nap went well without issue. In fact he went to bed tonight wihtout any problem either and the wife is in our bed tonight. Lolo didn't even ask at all about her mouth plug. All is good.
The melt down really didn't arrive until this morning when Atticus did not eat and began screaming the words 'I want my blue binky" over and over and over and over and over without cessation for about twenty minutes. I had to wrestle his clothes and shoes on him dealing with as much resistance as he could put up. But as I alway tell him: "I WILL win so why are you fighting?"
They all calmed down once in the Expedition. School went fine and nap went well without issue. In fact he went to bed tonight wihtout any problem either and the wife is in our bed tonight. Lolo didn't even ask at all about her mouth plug. All is good.
9/22/2009
Bye Bye Binkie
Atticus the 3 year old and Lolo the 5 year old both are addicted to pacifiers. Neither sleeps without one or rides in a vehicle without one. It was way past time for them to give up the habit. We all know the bad things about it such as guaranteed braces, etc.
I had not pushed the issue and the wife enjoyed the little peace the pacifier brought her throughout her day. However still sucking on a pacifier at five is a little too far! The wife and I came to an agreement that the binkies had to go.
The twins preschool teacher just had a baby. So we made a big deal of giving all the binkies to the new baby. I made a "Binky Box" where they were supposed to keep the pacifiers from one week prior up to today when they gave them away to the baby. Sometimes they put the pacifier in the box but most times they didn't.
We had binkies strewn all over the house from one end to the other and across all three floors. The wife did a good job of rounding them up and cutting a hole in the end to render then unusable.
Psychologically I think Lolo was more prepared than Atticus. She is old enough to know that no one else in her class uses one. She has slept over at a friends house without one and she camped out with her father witout one. Lolo shed some major tears at first for about three minutes before bedtime. But she accepted it and has fallen asleep without incident. In fact she and her sister sleep together and her sister (the one addicted to her blankie and thumb) was raising hell because she wanted to read another book and I said no because it was well past their bedtime. Lolo went to sleep and I have not heard from her since which was about three hours ago.
Atticus on the other hand is a little different. He played the big game fine. He normally does not go to sleep when you close the door. He likes to stay up to play for about an hour before he falls asleep. He did this tonight as well but when he got tired and wanted to go to sleep he exited his room and went to our room where mommy was sleeping. He got in bed with her and I think that is where they are now. Atticus sleepig with us in our bed is out of the ordinary- it only happens on rare occasions in fact almost never. I am not sure if he and the wife are still in our room or if the wife took him to his room and laid down in bed with him there.
Maybe just one more night of trauma without the binkies and then it will be all over.
I had not pushed the issue and the wife enjoyed the little peace the pacifier brought her throughout her day. However still sucking on a pacifier at five is a little too far! The wife and I came to an agreement that the binkies had to go.
The twins preschool teacher just had a baby. So we made a big deal of giving all the binkies to the new baby. I made a "Binky Box" where they were supposed to keep the pacifiers from one week prior up to today when they gave them away to the baby. Sometimes they put the pacifier in the box but most times they didn't.
We had binkies strewn all over the house from one end to the other and across all three floors. The wife did a good job of rounding them up and cutting a hole in the end to render then unusable.
Psychologically I think Lolo was more prepared than Atticus. She is old enough to know that no one else in her class uses one. She has slept over at a friends house without one and she camped out with her father witout one. Lolo shed some major tears at first for about three minutes before bedtime. But she accepted it and has fallen asleep without incident. In fact she and her sister sleep together and her sister (the one addicted to her blankie and thumb) was raising hell because she wanted to read another book and I said no because it was well past their bedtime. Lolo went to sleep and I have not heard from her since which was about three hours ago.
Atticus on the other hand is a little different. He played the big game fine. He normally does not go to sleep when you close the door. He likes to stay up to play for about an hour before he falls asleep. He did this tonight as well but when he got tired and wanted to go to sleep he exited his room and went to our room where mommy was sleeping. He got in bed with her and I think that is where they are now. Atticus sleepig with us in our bed is out of the ordinary- it only happens on rare occasions in fact almost never. I am not sure if he and the wife are still in our room or if the wife took him to his room and laid down in bed with him there.
Maybe just one more night of trauma without the binkies and then it will be all over.
9/13/2009
Electricity Nazi
Something I do every day- I walk around the house and turn out all the lights that have been left on in empty rooms. There are always lights on! I am probably saving a shitload of money because I switched all the lights to compact fluorescent bulbs. My kids rarely turn off lights when they leave a room. My wife sometimes turns out lights when she leaves a room. They don't have to work to pay the electric bill so I guess they really don't give a shit. And it isn't just that. I beleive in being a good steward of this planet and if I see an opportunity to contribute a little less to the destruction of our environment, I am going to do so.
The wife calls me an Electricity Nazi.
Bitch session over.
The wife calls me an Electricity Nazi.
Bitch session over.
9/10/2009
Supercar Heaven
I had a good friend in middle and high school whose father built a pretty large company from a small one he took over from his father-in-law. My friend's father needless to say became pretty wealthy. He also was a car nut. Apparently he was good friends with the President of Porsche back in the day (late 1980's and early 1990's) so he was able to get his hands on a brand new Porsche 959. It took him several years to actually get the car imported into the USA because it was not street legal. From what I remember he had tried to get the modificaitons done to it to make it legal. I think he had all of those modifications completed when I took these pictures.
According to Wikipedia there were only 337 of these cars built.
My friend's father does not own either of these cars anymore. I had heard that he sold the 959 to Jerry Seinfeld but I don't know if this is fact or not. I do know that Jerry Seinfeld owns one.
I don't know about the Ferrari F40 here but he owned this car too. I was hanging out with my friend and we washed the cars for his dad. We had done this several times before with some of his other cars and he used to take us for rides as a reward for washing them. I distinctly remember him taking me for a ride in his supercar of the month at the time which was a red Ferrari Testarossa. We hit 160 mph on a four lane road and I about shit in my pants.
Unfortunately I never got to ride in either the 959 or the F40. I just was amazed standing there looking at the $1 million worth of vehicles!
Difference in Offspring
The twins are so different. Adrienne already can maintain momentum on the swing by herself. I can get her started and she can for the most part keep swinging back and forth. Her brother Atticus has no clue but seems to want to try to do it. It won't be long before he gets it too.
I am just wondering when it will get easier to get these kids to bed. Atticus still pitches a holy hell of a fit almost every night with the crying and screaming. This too shall pass.
I am just wondering when it will get easier to get these kids to bed. Atticus still pitches a holy hell of a fit almost every night with the crying and screaming. This too shall pass.
9/03/2009
Learning to Ride a Bike
I took the training wheels off Lolo's bike this weekend. She can balance a little bit but she isn't comfortable with me letting go of the bike. I always hold on to her seat to keep her from falling one way or the other. She freaks out if she thinks she is going to fall. Regardless it hasn't kept her from wanting to continue to try. It should take her several more attempts before she is riding on her own.
9/02/2009
Bad boy today
I really fucked up today. I was supposed to pick Lolo up from kindergarten at 3:00 PM. I neglected to write the appointment in my calendar so my crackberry will buzz me that I have something to do. So I was immersed in work on a phone call and completely spaced it until the wife called me. When I answer the phone here is the conversation verbatim:
Me: Hello
The wife: I am so mad at you. You better leave RIGHT NOW and get your ass to Concordia to pick your daughter up. She has been crying.
Me: I'm leaving right now.
When I got there she was not crying (thank Zeus) and talking to a woman who turns out to be an old classmate of mine. Lolo was in good spirits and was happy. I apologize profusely to her but she said: Daddy, even though you forgot to pick me up I still love you.
Gee I wonder where she got that from?
Me: Hello
The wife: I am so mad at you. You better leave RIGHT NOW and get your ass to Concordia to pick your daughter up. She has been crying.
Me: I'm leaving right now.
When I got there she was not crying (thank Zeus) and talking to a woman who turns out to be an old classmate of mine. Lolo was in good spirits and was happy. I apologize profusely to her but she said: Daddy, even though you forgot to pick me up I still love you.
Gee I wonder where she got that from?
8/18/2009
Kid Vices and Rolls Royce Limo Rides
The kids all have their vices.
Adrienne sucks her thumb and has a special "blankie" that she loves- she normally doesn't sleep without it. Kind of normal for a 3 year old.
Atticus doesn't go anywhere without his pacifier that we call "binky" Until recently he had a strap that clipped to his shirt so he had it on him ALL the time. Now he isn't wearing that but he still can't ride in a vehicle or sleep without a binky in his mouth. Sort of normal for a 3 year old when the parents didn't push him toward giving up the habit.
Then there is Lolo. Starting kingergarten tomorrow and she turned five years old in January. She still can't seem to ride in a car or sleep without a binky. Last night was only the second time in her life that I can recall that she didn't sleep with a binky in her mouth.
The first time that I remember her not sleepign with a binky was this past March I think when we camped out in tents on the parent's property in the cow pasture. She fell asleep in a sleeping bag beside the bonfire and I carried her to the tent where she slept fine without the mouth plug.
Last night Lolo had a sleep-over with her good friend Alyssa. Alyssa's grandfather owns and runs a billion dollar company. Therefore, Alyssa's father and mother are very wealthy. They own a Rolls Royce Limo. Alyssa's father chauffeured Princess Alyssa and Princess Lolo around the town all dolled up in their princess dresses. Apparently Lolo had the time of her life and enjoyed picking up the phone in the limo to instruct the driver where to go next. So she slept without the plug last night. I believe it was out of embarrassment that she didn't use the binky.
Last year when I was taking her to school every morning to drop her off she always made a point to remove the binky from her mouth before she got out of the car to go into school. She would be embarrassed to go to school with it.
So yesterday we had orientation with the PreK3 teachers and the topic of conversation turned to the kids vices. One of the teachers gave the wife encouragement to get rid of the binkys pointing out the future troubles with teeth. I think the wife may be on board now trying to get rid of the vices. We will have to wait and see.
Adrienne sucks her thumb and has a special "blankie" that she loves- she normally doesn't sleep without it. Kind of normal for a 3 year old.
Atticus doesn't go anywhere without his pacifier that we call "binky" Until recently he had a strap that clipped to his shirt so he had it on him ALL the time. Now he isn't wearing that but he still can't ride in a vehicle or sleep without a binky in his mouth. Sort of normal for a 3 year old when the parents didn't push him toward giving up the habit.
Then there is Lolo. Starting kingergarten tomorrow and she turned five years old in January. She still can't seem to ride in a car or sleep without a binky. Last night was only the second time in her life that I can recall that she didn't sleep with a binky in her mouth.
The first time that I remember her not sleepign with a binky was this past March I think when we camped out in tents on the parent's property in the cow pasture. She fell asleep in a sleeping bag beside the bonfire and I carried her to the tent where she slept fine without the mouth plug.
Last night Lolo had a sleep-over with her good friend Alyssa. Alyssa's grandfather owns and runs a billion dollar company. Therefore, Alyssa's father and mother are very wealthy. They own a Rolls Royce Limo. Alyssa's father chauffeured Princess Alyssa and Princess Lolo around the town all dolled up in their princess dresses. Apparently Lolo had the time of her life and enjoyed picking up the phone in the limo to instruct the driver where to go next. So she slept without the plug last night. I believe it was out of embarrassment that she didn't use the binky.
Last year when I was taking her to school every morning to drop her off she always made a point to remove the binky from her mouth before she got out of the car to go into school. She would be embarrassed to go to school with it.
So yesterday we had orientation with the PreK3 teachers and the topic of conversation turned to the kids vices. One of the teachers gave the wife encouragement to get rid of the binkys pointing out the future troubles with teeth. I think the wife may be on board now trying to get rid of the vices. We will have to wait and see.
First Day of School
Tomorrow is the first day of school for the kids. Lolo will be in Kindergarten which won't be a big step for her because she went to the same school last year for Pre K4. Adrienne and Atticus are going to the same school as Lolo and will be in PreK3. They too went to a pre school program last year but they were in a different school.
I am trying to figure out how I am going to afford all this private school education.
I am trying to figure out how I am going to afford all this private school education.
8/16/2009
Too much TV
I am concerned about our youngest daughter Adrienne. She prefers to poop outside in the mulch. She just left me a nice present there.
But more of a concern is that she always wants to watch TV while her siblings play outside. She prefers to sit there glued to the TV and we allow it. Lolo and Atticus regularly play together outside but Adrienne more often than not just watches TV. She will play outside too but not as often as her brother and sister.
About a month and a half ago Adrienne started sleeping in Lolo's bed. She was scared of the dark and regularly slept with all of her lights on. Now it seems to be working better with her sleeping with Lolo.
But more of a concern is that she always wants to watch TV while her siblings play outside. She prefers to sit there glued to the TV and we allow it. Lolo and Atticus regularly play together outside but Adrienne more often than not just watches TV. She will play outside too but not as often as her brother and sister.
About a month and a half ago Adrienne started sleeping in Lolo's bed. She was scared of the dark and regularly slept with all of her lights on. Now it seems to be working better with her sleeping with Lolo.
8/09/2009
Jonesing to Ride
I did a thorough clean job on my bike's chain, derailleurs and gears today. I also changed both tires and the front tube. It had a very slow leak but the rear tube did not so I didn't change it.
Have you ever tried to work on your bike (or get anything else done for that matter) while watching a three year old boy and a five year old girl. There were a million questions and just a general sense that I was not paying enough attention to either of them. I tried to accomodate both of them the best I could while changing the tires and tubes.
I put on Vittoria Zaffiro Pro II Road tires I purchased from Nashbar at www.nashbar.com. I got two of them for $44.98. I bought from Nashbar because I thought I was not going to have to pay sales tax but I was wrong. The Nashbar site could have been better because I don't recall it telling me that I was going to have to pay sales tax until I was at the last step of checking out.
Anyway, I am really eager to get back on the bike but I have a trip planned next week. I was gone all last week to Honduras. These back-to-back trips suck but I just hope it helps keep my company in business. The economy has really put a big hurting on us.
Despite the fact that my business is struggling, I did score twice last night thanks to a week's absence, a candlelight bath, a couple of glasses of wine, smooth tunes and a nice relaxing conversation about the offspring. We need to do that more often.
Cha-ching.
Have you ever tried to work on your bike (or get anything else done for that matter) while watching a three year old boy and a five year old girl. There were a million questions and just a general sense that I was not paying enough attention to either of them. I tried to accomodate both of them the best I could while changing the tires and tubes.
I put on Vittoria Zaffiro Pro II Road tires I purchased from Nashbar at www.nashbar.com. I got two of them for $44.98. I bought from Nashbar because I thought I was not going to have to pay sales tax but I was wrong. The Nashbar site could have been better because I don't recall it telling me that I was going to have to pay sales tax until I was at the last step of checking out.
Anyway, I am really eager to get back on the bike but I have a trip planned next week. I was gone all last week to Honduras. These back-to-back trips suck but I just hope it helps keep my company in business. The economy has really put a big hurting on us.
Despite the fact that my business is struggling, I did score twice last night thanks to a week's absence, a candlelight bath, a couple of glasses of wine, smooth tunes and a nice relaxing conversation about the offspring. We need to do that more often.
Cha-ching.
Days at the Lake
We took the family and my brother's family to the lake last weekend. We all had a blast just chilling and swimming. It was the first time that we did not have big issues with the boat. For the first four trips to the lake the boat would not start. I cannot begin to describe how badly this sucks. The kids get all excited from the anticipation and we spend quite a lot of time getting all of our shit packed, then we drive 25 minutes to get to the lake hop in the boat and it won't start! So you try to contain the three kids on the dock while you try to get the boat to start. Sucks so hard.
Anyway last weekend the boat started with a jump box (portable battery jumper) and off we drove with five kids five and under. We swam and drove the boat around. The kids loved it.
Lolo tried to waterski for the first time. She wanted me to drive the boat and her uncle to be in the water with her. Unfortunately no one thought to instruct her to let go of the rope handle if she fell. Well of course she didn't get up on top of the water her first try and he held on to the handle and it dragged her through the water. It scared her and she cried a little bit. It was enough to make her not want to try again so she just tried one time.
The kids are now at the breakfast table chanting "Run away, run away from that poop!" over and over again. Classic.
Anyway last weekend the boat started with a jump box (portable battery jumper) and off we drove with five kids five and under. We swam and drove the boat around. The kids loved it.
Lolo tried to waterski for the first time. She wanted me to drive the boat and her uncle to be in the water with her. Unfortunately no one thought to instruct her to let go of the rope handle if she fell. Well of course she didn't get up on top of the water her first try and he held on to the handle and it dragged her through the water. It scared her and she cried a little bit. It was enough to make her not want to try again so she just tried one time.
The kids are now at the breakfast table chanting "Run away, run away from that poop!" over and over again. Classic.
7/29/2009
Swimmin Lessons
The three hellions are doing very well in swim lessons. Lolo just completed the Ray class and is moving to Starfish. She swam the entire length of the pool today without a life jacket or any help. Adrienne is being moved to Eel. She just loves the water and is pretty much a natural at it. Atticus will remain in Pike. He isn't as crazy about the water and really doesn't like getting his face wet. But he still will stay in the pool all day long.
7/28/2009
Business is Bad and the Economy Sucks
I am very concerned about my business. Our sales are off over 65% on our core items. Right now all of our profits are coming from one type of product being sold to one customer for one specific application in one industry. We are more vulnerable now that we have ever been- even when we were losing a million dollars a year on 12 million in sales.
I've got a marketing plan that I am implementing that should help with sales. So I am doing what I know to do but I really, really need the economy to come back!
I've got a marketing plan that I am implementing that should help with sales. So I am doing what I know to do but I really, really need the economy to come back!
7/25/2009
It Runs in the Family
Last weekend the whole five of us in the family went to Pennsylvania for a family reunion. My father's mother's side of the family that is. Although my paternal grandmother is long gone three of her sisters are still alive. My father is almost eighty and he grew up with his aunts as they are about seven to ten years older than him. They always called him Sonny. My mother loves to mock him (in a very mean way) and call him Sonny as in "Sonny boy always gets what he wants. Everyone take care of Sonny Boy." She is a very mean spirit to my father.
But I digress. We went to one of my father's aunt's son's house in York, Pennsylvania. He is the owner of a grocery store so he always has lots and lots of food at the reunions which we have about every five years. I don't know a lot of the people at these things but it is always good to get away and the guy who hosts it has a pool and he kids love that.
One of my relatives brought her award winning show dogs who were two very lovely, lively and friendly boxers. My tree offspring stayed in the pool almost the entire day swimming and splashing about. Adrienne and her twin brother just turned three in May and Lolo is five. They are swimming very well for their age. The twins have had a good amount of success with potty training and they almost have it down.
Adrienne hadn't gone poopie in several days so we knew it was just a matter of time before she asked for someone to take her to the potty to poopie. I was relaxing by the pool drinking a beer (imagine that) and Adrienne climbs up out of the water on the ladder saying she needs to go poopie. I look at her and as she turns around I notice that she has three but cheeks poking out of her bathing suit. Now normally she doesn't have three but cheeks but it just so happened that she had placed a very nice sized turd in her bathing suit to make the nice third hump.
Unfortunately the nearest bathroom was a walk out of the pool area, down the hill, through the crowd and into the crowded house. I looked around and saw only my immediate family so I removed her bathing suit bottom and shook out the turd over the fence in the bushes. Unfortunately the turd was still visible from inside the pool area but no one was going to bother to move it.
So without ever leaving the pool area, we wiped the little ass clean and put on a new bathing suit so the swimming could resume. After about ten minutes I hear the same announcement as Adrienne is getting out of the pool. I look up to see a repeat of the bulging bathing suit bottom except the bulge was much larger. This time I picked up the crapping three year old and held her out away from my body as far as possible and walked directly to the truck. I laid her down in the back and removed her steaming full bathing suit bottom. I chucked the fecal matter into the nearest low bushes away from everyone's sight and cleaned up the tot once again.
So several of my immediate family had seen the first turd tossing over the fence of the pool into the bushes. While I was away cleaning up the second brown offence many of the relatives were still at the pool. They spied the two boxer show dogs running around the perimeter of the pool fence. One of the dogs got really lucky and found that wonderful turd that my daughter had just recently deposited into her bathing suit but was now resting peacefully beneath the bushes on a nice soft bed of pine needles. Being a show dog of course the boxer did exactly what any other normal show dog would do and immediately gulped down the turd in about five or six bites with a good amount of chewing just to make sure the full effect was realized. The dog then went about it's business as if it had not just devoured a marvelous dish of toddler turd.
So my brother who had witnessed the entire unfolding of all events was hanging outside the house a few minutes later talking with the owner of the show dogs. He certainly didn't mention anything about the shit eating incident because he is just too damn polite. While they were talking the two boxers joyfully bounded up to their owner craving attention like boxers do. The owner of course loves her dogs so she gave them the attention they wanted by letting them lick her fact. She commented as they were licking her "My, my, what have you gotten in to?" My brother did a pretty good job of holding it all together so the owner never really realized that she had my daughter's shit all over her face.
Who ever said that potty training can't be entertaining?
But I digress. We went to one of my father's aunt's son's house in York, Pennsylvania. He is the owner of a grocery store so he always has lots and lots of food at the reunions which we have about every five years. I don't know a lot of the people at these things but it is always good to get away and the guy who hosts it has a pool and he kids love that.
One of my relatives brought her award winning show dogs who were two very lovely, lively and friendly boxers. My tree offspring stayed in the pool almost the entire day swimming and splashing about. Adrienne and her twin brother just turned three in May and Lolo is five. They are swimming very well for their age. The twins have had a good amount of success with potty training and they almost have it down.
Adrienne hadn't gone poopie in several days so we knew it was just a matter of time before she asked for someone to take her to the potty to poopie. I was relaxing by the pool drinking a beer (imagine that) and Adrienne climbs up out of the water on the ladder saying she needs to go poopie. I look at her and as she turns around I notice that she has three but cheeks poking out of her bathing suit. Now normally she doesn't have three but cheeks but it just so happened that she had placed a very nice sized turd in her bathing suit to make the nice third hump.
Unfortunately the nearest bathroom was a walk out of the pool area, down the hill, through the crowd and into the crowded house. I looked around and saw only my immediate family so I removed her bathing suit bottom and shook out the turd over the fence in the bushes. Unfortunately the turd was still visible from inside the pool area but no one was going to bother to move it.
So without ever leaving the pool area, we wiped the little ass clean and put on a new bathing suit so the swimming could resume. After about ten minutes I hear the same announcement as Adrienne is getting out of the pool. I look up to see a repeat of the bulging bathing suit bottom except the bulge was much larger. This time I picked up the crapping three year old and held her out away from my body as far as possible and walked directly to the truck. I laid her down in the back and removed her steaming full bathing suit bottom. I chucked the fecal matter into the nearest low bushes away from everyone's sight and cleaned up the tot once again.
So several of my immediate family had seen the first turd tossing over the fence of the pool into the bushes. While I was away cleaning up the second brown offence many of the relatives were still at the pool. They spied the two boxer show dogs running around the perimeter of the pool fence. One of the dogs got really lucky and found that wonderful turd that my daughter had just recently deposited into her bathing suit but was now resting peacefully beneath the bushes on a nice soft bed of pine needles. Being a show dog of course the boxer did exactly what any other normal show dog would do and immediately gulped down the turd in about five or six bites with a good amount of chewing just to make sure the full effect was realized. The dog then went about it's business as if it had not just devoured a marvelous dish of toddler turd.
So my brother who had witnessed the entire unfolding of all events was hanging outside the house a few minutes later talking with the owner of the show dogs. He certainly didn't mention anything about the shit eating incident because he is just too damn polite. While they were talking the two boxers joyfully bounded up to their owner craving attention like boxers do. The owner of course loves her dogs so she gave them the attention they wanted by letting them lick her fact. She commented as they were licking her "My, my, what have you gotten in to?" My brother did a pretty good job of holding it all together so the owner never really realized that she had my daughter's shit all over her face.
Who ever said that potty training can't be entertaining?
6/20/2009
Life is not fair
Why is life not fair?
1. I lost a lot (for me) of money when Cape Fear Bank's assets were turned over to the FDIC. Their stock is now worth $0.01 and I bought it for $10.00 per share (I think). I have too much invested in individual bank stocks.
2. The wind is blowing so hard outside I am afraid that a tree is going to fall through my house.
3. My core sales are off 65% from about eight months ago and my company's profits are off almost as much.
4. I am saving nothing toward retirement. My real retirement plan is for the business to do well enough that I will be able to set money aside in the future.
5. Doing business is going to continue to get more difficult with Obama in office and I will get to keep less of my hard-earned money as the government sticks their hands further into my pockets.
6. I don't score every night- or every month for that matter.
8. My wife would not give me permission to score with someone else besides her.
9. If she did it wouldn't take me more than five minutes to finish.
10. My libido is not diminshing with age.
1. I lost a lot (for me) of money when Cape Fear Bank's assets were turned over to the FDIC. Their stock is now worth $0.01 and I bought it for $10.00 per share (I think). I have too much invested in individual bank stocks.
2. The wind is blowing so hard outside I am afraid that a tree is going to fall through my house.
3. My core sales are off 65% from about eight months ago and my company's profits are off almost as much.
4. I am saving nothing toward retirement. My real retirement plan is for the business to do well enough that I will be able to set money aside in the future.
5. Doing business is going to continue to get more difficult with Obama in office and I will get to keep less of my hard-earned money as the government sticks their hands further into my pockets.
6. I don't score every night- or every month for that matter.
8. My wife would not give me permission to score with someone else besides her.
9. If she did it wouldn't take me more than five minutes to finish.
10. My libido is not diminshing with age.
6/17/2009
I Hate Lawyers
I have just signed a licensing agreement and I feel like I am running naked through a field of razor blades carrying a 55 gallon drum of isopropyl alcohol with holes in the bottom. The agreement puts almost all of the risk on my company - the licensee. The licensor is taking comparatively no risk. The licensor will not even warranty that he has the rights to license his invention.
I could go into all the details but I would bore myself and I know them all and no one reads this anyway, but if someone sues my company claiming that the product we are manufacturing under license infringes on another patent we are completely fucked because the inventor is not even claiming to have the rights to license what he is licensing. Were my company sued in this manner we would have no recourse with the inventor.
Normally I would never enter into an agreement that is so one-sided but without this agreement my company is effectively out of business. Eight months ago when our business outside this product we are licensing was good, I would have never signed this agreement and put my company at such risk. But now our core business has dropped off a cliff and the inventor has us by the balls even though he really doesn't know it.
His attorney is not an intellectual property specialist and the attorney I am using most certainly is. It is painfully obvious that the inventor's attorney doesn't know much about intellectual property law. The agreement he as drafted speaks so loudly to this point that I can even see it. Nevertheless the inventor is going by what his lawyer tells him to so they effectively are bending me over and ramming it home.
The agreement is so far outside the norm for licensing agreements that it is absurd. The licensor's attorney says this is a "hybrid" situation so it doesn't fall under what a normal licensing situation would entail The only thing "hybrid" about this agreement is that it is so one sided and that if I didn't sign it I might as well declare chapter 7. No other company with a sane CEO that was not desperate would sign an agreement like this.
I feel so damn vulnerable and I am pissed off that I had to be in this situation. I feel just like a prison bitch.
I could go into all the details but I would bore myself and I know them all and no one reads this anyway, but if someone sues my company claiming that the product we are manufacturing under license infringes on another patent we are completely fucked because the inventor is not even claiming to have the rights to license what he is licensing. Were my company sued in this manner we would have no recourse with the inventor.
Normally I would never enter into an agreement that is so one-sided but without this agreement my company is effectively out of business. Eight months ago when our business outside this product we are licensing was good, I would have never signed this agreement and put my company at such risk. But now our core business has dropped off a cliff and the inventor has us by the balls even though he really doesn't know it.
His attorney is not an intellectual property specialist and the attorney I am using most certainly is. It is painfully obvious that the inventor's attorney doesn't know much about intellectual property law. The agreement he as drafted speaks so loudly to this point that I can even see it. Nevertheless the inventor is going by what his lawyer tells him to so they effectively are bending me over and ramming it home.
The agreement is so far outside the norm for licensing agreements that it is absurd. The licensor's attorney says this is a "hybrid" situation so it doesn't fall under what a normal licensing situation would entail The only thing "hybrid" about this agreement is that it is so one sided and that if I didn't sign it I might as well declare chapter 7. No other company with a sane CEO that was not desperate would sign an agreement like this.
I feel so damn vulnerable and I am pissed off that I had to be in this situation. I feel just like a prison bitch.
6/15/2009
Poopin' Milestons
The twins are somewhat potty trained now. Big boy still prefers to poop in his underwear but has the pissing in the toilet thing down. The poop in underweare is always a blast when the poop is not solid. Big girl is about at the same place. I took them to a park yesterday and she pooped in her underwear. The walk they do after they shit their pants is so fucking funny. It is a stiff legged thing. I hope they can put two and two together and figure out that if they hold it until mommy or daddy can take them to a potty it will be a lot more comfortable.
The family is at our mountain house this week and I am here at home trying to go to sleep after preparing for my board meeting in the morning. Business absolutely sucks big donkey you know whats. Our core business is off over 65%. If it weren't for the new product we picked up to manufacture we would most likely be out of business. That opportunity came along at just the right time. If the economy doesn't pick up soon I don't know what the fuck I am going to do.
Ain't life fun.
The family is at our mountain house this week and I am here at home trying to go to sleep after preparing for my board meeting in the morning. Business absolutely sucks big donkey you know whats. Our core business is off over 65%. If it weren't for the new product we picked up to manufacture we would most likely be out of business. That opportunity came along at just the right time. If the economy doesn't pick up soon I don't know what the fuck I am going to do.
Ain't life fun.
6/07/2009
Abstinence Streak Ended
Through no fault of my own the two month abstinence streak ended last night- no blood related children within 30 miles did the trick and I didn't even have to initiate. It was good for me but I am pretty confident it was a major disappointment for the wife.
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