6/17/2010

Another trip....another ..... ummmmm. Whatever

So I arrrived at the Holiday Inn Express in Wadsworth Ohio tonight.  It has been a tripping busy day.  I was in the car for a total of probably 1.5 hrs between home and the airports and I probably was on the phone for 1.3 hours of that time making no less than fifteen different calls.

The hotel has a "happy hour" where they have free beer!  Yay!  In my college days "free beer" was one notch below getting laid which was one notch below going to heaven.  Getting laid is still one notch below going to heave because in the wife's point of view it is one notch below taking out the trash after cleaning out the cat litter.

Anyway, I digress..   I drank a no-name Magic Hat beer that is very tasty and yeasty.  I give it a solid seven on a scale of one to 10... or a solid 6.5 on a scale of 1 to 6.9.  I can tell I am typing when I am intoxicated because I would never type such a sentence as before I were not such at the age of 41.  If I were at the age of 25, I would start out the post with that statement.

So what was I saying about the beers I was drinking?  Oh yes.

I am drinking a Redbridge right now.  It is a product from Anheuser Busch that is brewed from Sorghum without using any wheat or barley.  It is a 4.2 on my scale of 6.9.  However, if I had Celiac (spelled Coeliac in the rest of the world) Disease, it would be a 7.69 on the scale.  Applause goes to Anheuser Busch for brewing this beer for a small subset of the population.  Wikipedia says that about 1% of the adult population has the disease which makes the carrier ill from consuming wheat and barley.  I am not sure where Anheuser Busch is coming from on this one.  Normally they would be motivated solely by profit and shareholder satisfaction.  But one has to wonder about this one.  Is this just an experiment?  Does AB know something that the rest of us don't about Celiac Disease?  Is AB causing AB disease?  Maybe they are genetically modifying all the eggs in women throughout the USA through the ingredients of Bud Light to cause the women's eggs to fertilize into an embryo that carries the gene for Celiac disease.

So that must be it. Since their normal brands suck and they see that they are losing market share because they produce what is in effect water with alcohol (Budweiser, Bud Light and most all other AB products) they have devised an evil plan to produce the only beer for those who cannot consume wheat based products.  Then they have evolved a strategy to make everyone born in the USA allergic to all the other beers in the marketplace.  How brilliant yet how evil.   It must be a conspiracy!  Boycott AB!!!!

Well despite the evilness of the non-regulated brewing industry (yuk, yuk!)  I am still going to buy beers that are not like sex in a canoe.  You know the joke.  American mass brewed beers are like sex in a canoe... fucking close to water.

I need another beer.